


Lost & Found

by Introvertia



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Harringrove, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Sharing a Bed, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 18:03:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/pseuds/Introvertia
Summary: Steve tries to take control of his life by diving into a career as a park ranger; his first gig lands him smack dab in a national park forest alone in the dead of winter, with no company and harsh living conditions. There's rumors of a ghost in the woods, but Steve feels more haunted by his past than his present situation.





	Lost & Found

**Author's Note:**

> Of course there's a happy ending.

**Career Day**

**or**

**Besties**

**(August)**

“It’s your day off, dingus.” Robin glanced over at Steve, she’d seen him out of the corner of her eye while she was helping a customer.

“I know. I just, I really need to talk to you.” Steve leaned on the counter, brow knitted in concentration, his mouth tight.

“Whoa, okay.” Robin nodded looking at Steve and started walking through the little swing doors at the side of the counter.

“Is this some kind of lovers quarrel, because it’s not her lunch break for another ten minutes.” Keith walked up with a sticker gun in hand and folded his arms.

“I’ll be back ten minutes earlier and then you get to go on your lunch break 10 minutes early, it’s like a win-win situation.” Robin rolled her eyes, as she pulled on her sweater to go out, there was a late August drizzle coming down and it was threatening to become an actual down pour, she wasn’t sure the sweater would make a difference.

“You’re beautiful when you take charge.” Keith said.

“Are you sexually harassing me?” Robin looked over at Keith narrowing her black lined eyes.

“No, maybe objectifying you, a little, but I respect you.” Keith shrugged watching Robin.

“I don’t have time to witness your murder, Keith.” Steve waved at Robin, trying to get her to hurry up.

“I’m taking the extra ten, no, now 15 minutes, and I’ll be back when I’m ready, okay?” Robin walked towards the front exit and hooked her arm in Steve’s towing him along.

“Just this once.” Keith shouted.

“Thanks, you know you’re beautiful when you’re compliant.” Robin said over her shoulder.

Steve shoved the doors open and walked towards his car, he was now leading Robin, he squinted up at the steady drizzle and turned looking at her.

“So, what’s going on? You okay?” Robin socked Steve in the arm lightly.

“I need your help.” Steve explained.

“Sure, of course. What is it?”Robin looked at Steve walking sideways to better read his expressions.

“I know what I want to do with my life.” Steve nodded looking very uncertain.

“That’s great, what?” Robins looked suspicious but kept her tone light.

“I want to be a Park Ranger.”

“What, why? Have you been reading Ranger Rick? You don’t even like nature.”

“Wrong, I do in fact, like nature.” Steve pouted, “Look, I did some research.”

“Oh my god, are you okay, was it hard? Did you get any paper-cuts? Wait! How did you find the library?” Robin folded over with laughter.

“Robin, I’m serious, I’m so, so serious right now.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. You want to be a park ranger. How is this something I can help with?” Robin spoke calmly, she could tell he meant it.

“There’s exams, and stuff, I can get around not having a BA, but I need to prove that I’ve got good life experience, and do some volunteer time at the local Police Department, which you know, I’ve figured that out, and I can put in the hours and be done by October, but like the exams… I mean, it’s a lot of, science and like I know Dustin’s going to help, but it’s going to take more than one dweeb to get this stuff to stick.”

“So you’re asking me to be your back-up dweeb and tutor you? In what exactly?”

“Well, there’s you know EMT stuff that I gotta take and then there’s um, natural sciences, like I have to pick one… um I’ve narrowed it down a bit,” Steve pulled a crumpled sheet out of his pocket, “Well there’s zoology, um, geology, botany, and um, forestry. I think, I want to focus on forestry and zoology the most, I mean, how many flowers am I going to be looking at, botany isn’t really my thing, besides shouldn’t that kind of be covered in the whole, forestry thing? Botany just seems really redundant, and I’m not into rocks so forget the geology stuff, but animals are cool and I like forests.”

“Right. How did you do in your science classes?” Robin asked as she folded her arms, and then reached over and gently plucked Steve’s crumpled list from his fingers to read his blocky writing.

_1 - cadet course for Indiana State Police_

_2 - Emergency Technician course (two years?!?!)_

_3- Go to college while doing Emergency Tech stuff and cadet course and keep job._

_4- move out of Hawkins._

“I mean, I wasn’t really applying myself, and you know, I know a lot of smart people now. There’s you and Dustin, and Dustin said he’d ask Mr Clark if he’d like tutor me, um, fo free as a favor to him. So I might end up with three really excellent tutors, and then you know, I’ll get you in the parks for free whenever you want to go camping, you know, like payback.”

“What’s this about cadet school? You don’t need to be a cop to work as a park ranger?” Robin shook her head.

“Yeah I know, but I was talking to officer Powell, and he said that that’s a good way to get into the state parks if you’re not big on academics.” Steve smiled sheepishly.

“Is this really what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Like one-hundred percent, in it to win it?” Robin pressed.

“One-thousand percent!” Steve all but shouted.

“Right, got it. Then, I will help you.” Robin shook her head, but she was smiling too.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Robin nodded.

Steve stepped forward and hugged her and spun her in a circle.

“Knock it off!” Robin laughed.

“You are the best Robin, you are the best, you are my best friend and the best person I know, and if you’re helping me I know I can do this.” Steve hopped a couple times.

“Am I really your best friend?” Robin laughed, she loved seeing him happy.

“Well, yeah, duh.”

“That’s kind of sad, and sweet… you’re my best friend too.” Robin hugged Steve tightly, “Now, buy me a sandwich.”

“We got paid yesterday are you out of money already?”

“No, I just don’t feel like paying for my food and I’ve just agreed to tutor you, which on top of my own classes starting in September and working is going to mean I have no free time, so you owe me and we’re starting with a sandwich, I think I want a grilled cheese, and turkey on rye, but they have that really good molasses bread at the new sandwich place down the way.” Robin started walking towards the new Deli and then turned looking at Steve.

“So why did you look so upset?”She asked, “I mean this is good news, you know what you want to do, you have a four step plan and everything.”

“My dad’s really pissed, he said it was time for me to come work fo him, and I told him I’m going to become a park ranger and he went through the roof.”

“Can’t you do both? Like work for him during the day school at night.”

“I mentioned that he kind of laughed in my face.” Steve frowned, “My mom said she’d pay for my school and if I graduate I don’t have to pay her back, if I don’t finish, she’s going to work out a payment plan.” Steve looked a little green and swallowed hard.

“You know what? You’re going to do this, just wait till your folks sees you graduate. You’re dad’s going to feel like an idiot. Don’t worry Dingus.” Robin squeezed Steve’s shoulder.

“We better get you enrolled in a junior college, like yesterday.” Robin said.

“How do I do that?” Steve blinked at Robin, a glint of fear flashing in his eyes.

Robin puffed out a breath of air before speaking, “Let’s talk while I eat.”

**In It to Win It**

**(December)**

Robin sat back on the plush couch, her new Christmas sweater was blue with white snowflakes and little bits of sliver woven, she had to admit Steve had pretty good taste. The living room was big with fashionable furniture, a large television cabinet off to the side and a warm fire blazing. Had she been with someone, other than Steve, like maybe Angela Garcia, or Maria Wu, it might have been a potentially romantic holiday evening.

“Do you like it?” Steve plopped down beside her and handed her a beer.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s no sailor uniform, but it’s pretty cool.” Robin sat up smiling, “I didn’t get you anything.” She pulled at the cuffs, it was actually perfect timing for a new sweater, she’d worn out her favorite one so badly that she didn’t feel like she could wear it out in public without looking like she was some kind of punk poser, and her second favorite sweater was currently in Angela’s blue Ford F150, unless she was wearing it. Robin smiled wistfully to herself.

“You know, you got me through my first twelve units and that’s a pretty big deal.” Steve tapped his beer to hers.

“I’m proud of you dingus. I really am, keep this up and you’ll be a ranger, and you can forget about going to cadet school to be a state police stooge.” Robin sat lotus watching Steve settle into the couch beside her.

“So what was it?” Steve nudged Robin lightly, “What did Keith give you, I saw him slip you a present.”

“Oh god.” Robin pressed her hands over her face, “It’s a rerelease of the Apartment, he signed the gift card, Merry Xmas, your _Bud_.”

“What’s so bad about that, you said it was one of your top three movies. I mean, it’s a little presumptuous of him to say he’s your bud, but you know, the guy can dream… he’s not your bud though, I’m your bud.” Steve stated matter of factly.

“No, not like _from your buddy_, but from Bud, in the film Bud is smitten with Fran, you know he has feelings for her, Keith is basically declaring that he wants to be my boyfriend or something.”

“Gross.” Steve frowned.

“Well, it’s not exactly ideal.” Robin shook her head, “Nope, far from ideal.”

“Tell him you and I are together.” Steve suggested.

“What? No!” Robin rolled her eyes.

“Okay tell him you like the ladies.” Steve winked at her.

“No way.” Robin shook her head.

“Break his heart?” Steve took a swig from his beer, “That’ll teach him, like can you blame. him? You’re awesome, of course he’s got the hots for you.”

Robin grimaced taking a long drink from her bottle, she peeled the label and decided she’d rather not explore more solutions to the problem of Keith’s feelings.

“Ugh. I don’t want to talk about this. Besides, you said you have good news, I came here straight after work for that good news, you know I’d rather be in bed reading.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, thanks for coming over, so I could give you a present and free beer, and sandwiches on the fancy bread that you like.”

“I appreciate it, I do, now come on, what’s the good news? You keep avoiding it, spit it out.”

“Are you ready? It’s pretty stellar!” Steve held out his hands.

“I was born ready for good news from you, Harrington, but if this is about Patricia from the Deli I will kill you, she’s awful.” Robin sat forward.

“She’s not awful.”

“My god Harrington, she’s the worst, like gag me with a spoon, she’s so superficial, she has no personality, I don’t know why you flirt with her, she likes her men blonde.”

“Are you sure you’re not just, jealous?” Steve waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Wow, no. If I wanted her, I’d get my head examined, I mean she’s cute till she opens her mouth. Hey, wait a minute, spit it out! What’s the good news!”

“I’m going to have my first gig as a ranger-in-training,starting January 5th and get this, it’s going to earn me 3 units towards my forestry classes, and all the volunteer hours I need for the park ranger requirement, and it’s paid, and it’s got free room and board, and best of all it’s the easiest job on the planet.” Steve pointed at himself, “I found it, I signed up for it, I got it, I beat out three other people, well, three other people dropped out, basically, maybe I was the only applicant that like really wanted it, but I got it!” Steve held out his hand for a high-five.

“Aren’t I one of your references?” Robin looked at Steve quizzically.

“Yes?” Steve asked.

“They never called me.” Robin looked at Steve curiously.

“Weird, guess I’m that good!” Steve held his palm up and smiled.

“I wonder if they called Keith?” Robin speculated, “No, you didn’t use him as a reference did you?”

“Uh, don’t leave me hanging!” Steve waved at her, his hand still held out.

“Oh, right.” She slapped her palm against his making a satisfying clap.

“Steve Harrington, Ranger-in-training, right here! They loved me.” Steve pointed his thumbs at himself smiling broadly.

“So what is the gig exactly?”

“I’m going to be on fire watch for 90 days, and the pay is stellar, like three times what I’m making right now. Can you believe it?”

“Considering we have the same job, I can believe that the pay is three times the amount, what is three times nothing, anyways? Wait, you’re going to be watching a fire for 90 days, or you mean like looking out for fires? Like, forest fires?”

“Yes, so basically a 90 day paid vacation with hikes scheduled as a work out routine, really it’s to check on things, the forests and trails and look for lost campers or whatever, give directions, I don’t know it’s something like safety patrol or whatever - but you know, lots of walking around and climbing on things, gotta stay fit for the ladies.”

“Is it really _just_ the ladies?” Robin arched a brow smiling wickedly.

Steve cleared his throat and continued, “There’s going to be a radio so I can like, check in with the main Park Ranger Station, and maybe Dustin too, wow, he’s gonna lose his mind! I’m gonna take three books, I think I’ll have enough time for three, yeah.”

“You do realize you’re going to be alone for like three months, in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but canned food and trees? I doubt there’s going to be a TV.”

“Robin, it’s in a tree house!” Steve interjected.

“In a tree house?” Robin reached over to the coffee table and grabbed half of a ham and cheese sandwich.

“Well, it’s like a mini cabin, on a three story platform. So cool.” Steve nodded, “What, do you think I should take more books?”

“Yeah, like maybe twelve, and ones without pictures. Are you sure you’re up for this?”

“It’s like you said, I’m in it to win it!” Steve grinned broadly.

**Goodbye, Cruel World**

**(January)**

“I’m going on a journey, I’m taking a huge step towards a career, a real career, so, um thanks guys, for the send off.” Steve nodded looking at the kids and Nancy. He had two large grocery bags of gifts from the gang, one under each arm, they consisted mostly of snacks. Nancy had arrived with the party just in time to see him off on his drive to the national park. Steve looked at the contents of the bags, not even really sure what he was seeing, he was so distracted by the thought of the next 90 days.

“You’re going to do great Steve, don’t worry about a thing and you’ve got your wilderness survival training, just be um, you’ll do great.” Dustin patted Steve’s shoulder.

“Wilderness survival training? What, no I’ve taken a forestry class, and um, first aid, and some math classes, you know, I had to back track a bit, my grades…” Steve’s voice died out a little.

“You’ll be fine, there’s no bears around here, and there’s only some lynx and wolves that are indigenous to Indiana, so I mean if you do die, it will probably be of hypothermia and I hear that’s just like going to sleep.” Max smiled.

“Thanks Max, so helpful.” Dustin scowled at her.

“That’s not true, there are bears in Indiana, black bears, and there’s no Lynx but there are Mountain lions, and um, bobcats, oh and feral hogs! They’re really aggressive.” Mike piped up.

“You’re going to have a blast, you’re gonna be like Grizzly Adams, living in the woods, taming nature, bending the very wilderness to your will and protecting the national forest! You’re a hero, all over again.” Lucas elbowed Mike when he started to open his mouth. Mike gave Lucas a sour look.

“Feral hogs, like wild pigs? Weird. I haven’t done my zoology classes yet.” Steve mumbled looking worried.

“They have tusks, and they get like well over a hundred pounds, super territorial too.” Mike said matter of factly.

“Mike, why do you know so much about wild pigs?” Dustin looked at him incredulously.

“There was this great show on what happens when some domesticated animals are rereleased into the wild and how they can revert back in like three generations or something like that, they covered pigs and wild dogs, and um,” Mike paused in thought.

“I got it, great. I’ll be on the look out for feral dogs and killer pigs.” Steve looked heavenward and sighed loudly.

“Look Steve, it’s gonna go by really fast and then you’ll be back in town and we can all catch a movie or something.” Max said in way of consolation.

“Well, sure. I mean. I like movies, it’s like my job now to like movies, unless Keith replaces me. I think he might, he’s been acting really weird lately.”Steve peered into the distance, his brows knitting.

“Keith is only weird when he’s not acting weird.” Dustin offered.

“Alright, well I guess I better get on the road. Thanks for coming guys, you know you didn’t have to.” Steve squinted at Mike, he wasn’t so sure he liked him very much.

“Of course we didn’t have to, we wanted to.” Nancy stepped forward and hugged Steve.

“Yeah and we all had to be up early for school anyways since there’s no snow, like how much does that suck?” Dustin asked rhetorically,“The weatherman told us we’d get a snow day. Meteorologist may as well be using crystal balls, I don’t know how they call it a science, there’s not really a reliable way to predict the weather.”

“Anyways,” Lucas side-eyed Dustin, “Have a good time and come back with some stories.” Lucas proffered his hand and Steve gave it a firm shake.

“Where’s Robin, I’m surprised she’s not here, are you two doing okay?” Nancy looked at Steve expectantly.

“What? No, I keep telling you Nancy, it’s not like that.”

“Why not? You guys are inseparable.” Nancy’s eyes shined in the way they did when she was feeling right about something.

“I’ve been telling him that for months!” Dustin’s voice cracked with agitation.

“She’s at her friend’s house, Angela, or um, Maria, I forget, anyway, she’s over in Wabash, and besides we hung out Saturday after work. It’s a plutonic friendship Nancy.” Steve looked at her meaningfully.

“Um, you mean _platonic_, and well that’s good, that’s great.” Nancy pursed her lips, not looking convinced in the slightest.

Max stepped forward and hugged Steve tightly, “Be safe, okay?”

“Of course, I’m not planning on dying, this will be a snap.” Steve suddenly felt horrible for joking about dying, he squeezed her gently and rested his hand briefly on the back of her head.

“Yeah, totally.” Max shook her head, but dropped her gaze.

Dustin stepped forward and hugged Steve, and gave him manful pats on the back. “See you real soon, did you pack a camera?”

“Um, yeah, my mom got me one, for Christmas.” Steve shrugged.

“Good, that’s great. Okay, you know the usual channels, so like you can check in, and if it’s an emergency you can try me on my special channel too.” Dustin lowered his voice.

“Is that your secret Suzie channel?” Max leaned forward smiling impishly.

“Never mind, I was talking to Steve, I was talking to an _adult_, not you.” Dustin frowned at Max, she was already giving Lucas sly looks that meant a chorus of the Never Ending Story theme song was about to happen.

“Bye Steve, see you in the Spring, I guess.” Mike waved as he was turning away already walking over to the car that Nancy had brought them all in.

“Yeah, Spring.” Steve nodded his eyes going wide.

Steve climbed into his car, his father had agreed to let him take it since it was going to be sitting in a garage for the next 90 days. Steve could still hear his father’s voice in his ears.

_“My son is going to be up a tree like a goddamned squirrel for three months. I hope that’s enough time for you to change your mind about being a park ranger, what kind of Smokey the Bear baloney career path are you on kiddo?”_

Steve turned on the stereo to drown out his thoughts, it was nice to be back in his BMW and he was actually looking forward to the roughly two hour drive. He liked driving, he’d even thought one day he’d like to be a race car driver, but that sounded nuts to him, of course there was the period where he was sure he’d become a DJ, then he wanted to be stuntman… now he wanted to be a park ranger. Steve felt his stomach drop, maybe he was kidding himself, self doubt and dread seemed to suck the air out of the car and give him a strangled dry mouthed feeling. Steve swallowed hard and shook his head, fixed his eyes on the road and pressed down the gas pedal, he was determined to get through the next 90 days.

As he cut across Hawkins, Steve wondered if anyone, besides Robin, would really miss him. It was great that the kids and Nancy came out to see him, and he’d had a nice breakfast with his mom before she went off to the city council meeting, but it didn’t feel like enough. Steve grappled with his feelings, he couldn’t shut them off so he had to try and figure them out, turning onto the main highway heading south he thought about Nancy, how maybe she’d loved him for a little bit, but he’d loved her longer, and now she and Jonathan were doing the long distance thing… It wouldn’t be too long before Robin had a serious girlfriend, someone like her wouldn’t be single long. Steve couldn’t decide what he wanted more, someone special in his life, or to be someone’s special person in their life? He raked his hand through his hair, why was he thinking about this stuff while driving out of town to spend three months alone in the woods, it made no sense…

“I’m going to die alone in the woods.” Steve blurted.

**Dress for Success**

Steve had made it to the Morgan-Monroe State Forest Ranger’s Station by 10AM, right on time. A weathered and keen eyed looking ranger named Paul had shown Steve the garage where he was to park his car for storage, and then helped him with getting his duffle bag and grocery gift bags in the back of jeep that would deliver him to his Fire Tower.

“You better get in uni, and don’t forget your parka, it’s gonna be cold up there.” Paul said, not unkindly.

“Right, um, okay.” Steve nodded, he’d never been a boy scout, and the only uniforms he’d ever worn had been for team sports and Scoops Ahoy, he felt oddly reluctant to don the park ranger uniform, he felt like he hadn’t earned it yet. He hustled into a small locker room that had showers and sinks, only maybe three of the dozen lockers looked to be in use. Steve changed quickly, not wanting to keep Paul waiting, it dawned on him that he hadn’t seen any other rangers, or tourist for that matter. Steve stopped before the mirror just to make sure he had everything on straight, he felt a chill run down his spine, for a second he thought he saw Hopper looking at him through that mirror, but of course he was just seeing himself, his uniform was olive drab, a muddy green, not beige, but still, the reflection gave him pause and made his heart hurt. Steve stepped outside to meet Paul, the sun had broken through the slate grey sky and Steve squinted.

“Looking sharp.” Paul sounded pleased and he plopped a wide brimmed hat on Steve’s head. Steve adjusted the brim feeling oddly bashful, he wasn’t used to people like Paul saying kind things to him.

“Oh, is this for me?” Steve adjusted the brim of the hat.

“Yeah, you need it to complete the uniform, of course when you’re up in your tower you don’t need to wear it, but when you do your observation hikes, get in uniform. We don’t want to confuse people, not that you should run into anyone.”

“No? Why not?” Steve looked at Paul feeling very confused.

“It’s off season, the park’s closed till spring. Didn’t Superintendent Adams tell you that?” Paul’s face became concerned, he tucked his chin looking at Steve.

“Um, no. No he didn’t.”

“You can radio in if you want company, I’ll be in range Tuesdays through Fridays, between 5AM and 1PM, and then there’s no one really around, with the exception of the emergency services, but you know, they don’t want to hear from you unless there’s fire, a death, or stranded trespassers, sometimes that happens, that’s why you go on your hikes, to see if you come across any fires, or gypsy encampments, not real gypsies, more like dumb hippies.” Paul looked worried, he was studying Steve’s face.

“Okay, yeah, I mean. I’ve got this.” Steve nodded.

“It’s a lonely gig, I’ve done it about oh, let’s see, 4 winter seasons, I like summer seasons better did those for about ten years, but winter has its perks.”

“Wow that’s like fourteen years, why’d you stop?” Steve thought it sounded like torture, to do anything for that many years.

“Well, I’m getting old.” Paul smiled, “And I got hitched last September, and my lady, she wants me around.” Paul’s smile broadened and he looked rather bashful.

“Oh, well congratulations.” Steve nodded.

“Well, better get you to your nest, it’s bit of slow drive taking the jeep along the narrow roads.”

“Yep, let’s go.” Steve said hesitantly.

“Let’s go Ranger Harrington!” Paul clapped him on the back, and Steve released a nervous chuckle.

**Where the Eagles Fly**

“I thought it was three stories up? This looks higher.” Steve stood at the base of the Mason Ridge Fire tower, the longer he stared the higher it seemed to go, he tilted his head back and couldn’t imagine it was any shorter than the Sears Tower in Chicago.

“Three stories?” Paul chuckled, “No, it’s about Twelve, roughly 125 feet up from base to floor, that’s not counting the roof, but I don’t expect you’ll be spending time up there. Unless there’s a leak, but we had it re-shingled about six years ago, so you should be fine. Let’s get going, those stairs will wind you for the first three weeks, and then it’s like anything, you just get the hang of. Don’t worry about all the steps, just the first ten, and then the next.”

Paul picked up Steve’s heavy duffle bag and one of the grocery bags and started up the flimsy looking stairs. Steve noticed that Paul wasn’t wearing his parka, and figured out pretty quickly that the climb made you warm fast, and the further you went the hotter you got, he was sweating when he was only about a third of the way to the top and had to sit down to catch his breath when he was half way there. Paul sat down beside him and pulled out a cigarette case, he offered Steve one and Steve shook his head, the thought of smoking right now seemed crazy to Steve.

“There’s some books up there, and I filled the water tank, so that should last your first two weeks, then you gotta come down to the pump and fill your water bottles, we only have the gallon sized ones, but do yourself a favor and just fill them halfway up. You should stock up though, in case the pump freezes, then there’s snow to boil, but it shouldn’t get that cold.” Paul flicked his zippo open lit up.

“You know, I think this will be good for me.” Steve nodded peering into the trees, they weren’t above their crowns just yet.

“It’s a choice, you know. You have to choose for something to be good for you and then it is; unless it’s smoking.” Paul let out a low dry laugh.

“You remind me of someone I used to know.” Steve thought of Hopper, he hadn’t been as philosophical as Paul, but they both had a simple get it done kind of attitude, a methodical type of smarts that solved problems, Steve admired that.

“Oh yeah, was he a cool guy?” Paul grinned.

“Real cool.” Steve nodded.

Steve was sorry to watch Paul drive away in his jeep, from Steve’s vantage point the jeep looked like a HotWheel toy and Paul wasn’t much bigger than an ant. Steve lowered his binoculars and unbuttoned his shirt, still hot from the climb to the top. Paul had gone about showing him all the amenities, Steve hadn’t realized he’d be shitting in a plastic lined bucket, then tie up the bags, set them aside till he wanted to take them down to the wast disposal canister downstairs everyday, Paul told Steve the canister was bear proof like it was a luxury, Steve didn’t think a bear would be interested in his poop, but he did still have a lot of studying to do. The ‘toilet’ was at least in a very nice little cabinet with a real toilet seat and cover, with a little curtain in case you were worried a bird might fly by and see you taking a dump.

The bed wasn’t as bad as Steve had thought it would be. It was the only thing that wasn’t below his expectations. He sat on it experimentally, at first worried that he’d sink right through the mattress and end up on the floor, but it was soft and supportive and smelled pleasantly of clean linens and laundry soap. There was even a home-made extra thick patch quilt that made Steve smile, it reminded him of one he’d had when he was little, though he couldn’t remember who had made it for him.

Steve unpacked his duffle bag into a set of drawers, he inspected the cabinet that held all the tools, the radio work desk had a booklet of information, a nice headset like the one Dustin used, only more heavy duty, and a desk speaker. Steve peered in the rifle cabinet, where there were two rifles, and a Sig Sauer pistol. Steve felt confident about the smaller rifle, it was similar to the one Hopper had taught him to use, the larger one had a scope on it. There was a little note-book to keep track ammunition use, with the bullet type, time of day and even a space for ‘reason of use’.Steve thumbed through the little notebook, not really expecting to see much, he ran his finger down the reason of use column, rabbit and deer came up the most frequently, someone had written pig with a little doodle of porky pig next to it, his eyes X-ed out. Steve snorted and shook his head, he was about to put the booklet back in the cabinet when the last word caught his eye, he thought is said _goat_, but on a closer look he realized it said: GHOST.

“Ghost?” Steve said aloud, he tittered softly. He closed the gun case, and convinced himself Paul had written that in the book just as a sort of joke for the newbies, Steve paused opened the cabinet and wrote _Sasquatch_ underneath the word ghost and carelessly tossed the booklet on it’s shelf before shutting the double doors again.

After two hours of settling in and checking every nook and cranny of his small watch tower Steve was bored, a little hungry and very tired. There was a wood burning stove, Steve packed it with paper, tinder and wood. It was already cold and it was the middle of the afternoon, but being one-hundred-twenty-five feet up in the air left him without any windbreakers, like trees or tall buildings, even on the brightest of winter days, like the one he was experiencing right then, it was cold and he knew he’d need to get in the habit of bringing up wood or he’d freeze.

Steve forced himself down the endless steps all the way down to the ground to gather kindling and wood, already he realized he’d made a mistake as soon as his foot his the soil, he hadn’t brought anything to bind the wood with or to carry it, which meant his haul would be limited to what he could carry in his arms, up twelve flights of stairs.

“You’re an idiot, Harrington.” Steve muttered as he went about gathering kindling, he also hadn’t brought an axe down with him, not that he was looking to try his hand at playing Paul Bunyan, but it would have been helpful to break up the larger fallen trees.

By the time Steve made it to the top of the tower for the second time in one day his arms were burning and his legs felt like jello. He tossed the wood he’d managed to haul up on in the corner where there was a box for tinder and wood and threw himself on the bed. It wasn’t yet three and the light was already getting a twilight hew, Steve squinted up at the ceiling and noticed there were words carved deep into the beam just above his chest.

** _Be Not Forgetful to Entertain Strangers: For Thereby Some Have Entertained Angels_ **

Steve tilted his head, he wasn’t sure he understood, he said the words aloud a couple times over before drifting into a deep sleep.

**Watcher in the Woods**

**(February)**

Steve flipped up the February page of his calendar, it was a going away gift from Robin, it featured great shots of the luxury cars, it was published by Car and Driver Magazine, she’d even given him a year long subscription too, but the magazines were being delivered to his house of course, he wished they were being delivered there at the tower, he still had a pretty good selection of books that he could read, but Watership Down was taking forever, although he kind of liked it. Steve admired the Red Audi Quattro pictured for February and checked off the first of the month. The tower was cold, he could see his breath. He couldn’t help but think of Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, something he hadn’t give much thought of until he recently rewatched the movie from ‘78 on video with Dustin, Lucas, Max and Mike. Mike had hated it, but lately he hated everything.

Steve walked across the room and peered out the window, the view was pretty great. Clouds just low enough that it looked like he could climb on the roof and scoop out some cotton, the leaning trees glistened with frost from the night before, and little ribbons of icee black rivers cutting between the forest floor was kind of magical looking. It hadn’t snowed yet, but it was cold enough to start at any moment. Steve peered at his wrist watch, it wasn’t yet 7AM, Steve’s sleep cycle had gone haywire, and he tended to wake up at five in the morning, there also weren’t really any curtains, so any daylight was enough to rouse him from his sleep, but then it was practically full dark by six at night, so it almost balanced out.

“Lots of trees. No fires.” Steve said to the air and sipped a little of his hot soup from a his blue tin cup.

He’d almost gotten used to the stairs, and the scheduled surveillance hikes that he went on every other day were getting easier, he stopped wearing his wide brimmed ranger hat in favor of a black wool beanie. He’d been gifted a journal by Nancy and at first thought it was useless, being that he hated writing, which she _should_ remember, but he had started making lists in it. He liked making lists.

He opened the journal and wrote:

_February First, lots of trees, no fire. Woke up early again. Bad dreams._

Steve nodded, it was almost like a real journal entry, he sat down at his desk surveying the land, he’d meant to sleep in that day, had planned on just rolling over no matter what time it was until he couldn’t bear another second in bed; but he’d been awoken by bad dreams, dreams that were a horrible cocktail of memories and regrets. He wished Robin had a radio so he could talk to her, he’d spoken to Dustin on the previous two Sundays, but Steve couldn’t help but think that Dustin didn’t get him, not really and certainly not the way Robin did.

In the dream Steve had been speeding across the mall parking lot with Robin in the passenger seat, but she wasn’t in her Scoops uniform, instead she was wearing army fatigues. Billy Hargrove’s beefy blue Camaro was revving and then tires squealing went barreling across the black asphalt heading towards the Wheeler family station wagon with Nancy foolishly standing her ground with nothing but a hand gun and nerves of steel.

Steve remembered pressing the gas pedal down as far as it would go, he could almost feel the sensation against the bottom of his foot just standing in the watch tower, revisiting the nightmare. He recalled that in the dream, like in life, he was hoping that he didn’t end up murdering Billy, or Robin, or himself. But knowing he had to save Nancy, and that he had to stop Billy. The world was upside down again and there were bigger problems than Russians in the basement of Starcourt Mall. Steve hadn’t stopped to see if Billy was okay, and the memory of that made him almost throw up what little soup he’d swallowed. Steve set down his bowl and pushed it away with the tips of his fingers. Why hadn’t he checked on him? Was it cowardice, he asked himself? He had no answer. The tires squealing, the crunching of glass, the scent of smoking rubber and burning fuel, then the Camaro catching fire… and then the mind-flayer in all its disgusting fleshy mass on the roof of the Starcourt, it was like nothing Steve had ever seen, no horror movie could compare, Nancy yelling at him and Robin to get in the car, and that monster, that towering monster, composed of corpses, stinking of rot and blood and bile, was chasing them on its many legs… Steve pushed open the door and stepped outside onto the narrow cat walk, he stood in the cold morning air and leaned so far over the railing that he was in danger of pitching over, instead he just threw up his breakfast… he’d left Billy to die, and Billy had given up his life for El.Steve wiped his mouth after a couple dry heaves, as he leaned on the railing catching his breath he saw a faint flicker in the woods. It was difficult to be sure that he’d seen anything with the rising sunlight starting to fill the forest with a misty glow, but he ran back into the tower room and got hold of the telescope, he swung it towards the area he’d seen the flickering in, and scanned backwards and forwards. He’d nearly convinced himself that he’d imagined the light when he saw the glint again.

Someone had a small campfire going.

“Oh shit! Okay, okay, it’s a little fire, like small, so… I go and I give them an official warning and escort them to the main road and then radio in the incident and then log it in the book, wait…” Steve rambled as he fumbled into his uniform shirt and buttoned it up, he grabbed his backpack for short surveillance hikes and threw it on and grabbed his parka, it had his gloves and beanie shoved in the pockets. He rushed out the door and started flying down the flimsy stairs making the whole tower vibrate, he adjusted his back-pack straps making it tighter and started jumping down two or three steps at a time.

“I’m coming for you buddy, I’m gonna get you!” Steve cackled as he ran pellmell down the steel stairs.

“Jesus, these stairs, they just don’t stop…” Halfway down he’d slowed his pace, he was already feeling breathless and he wasn’t exactly sure how far out the fire had been, but he knew the distance had to be roughly three miles, at the furthest four. He had his compass and his map in his bag, and he was getting pretty good at estimating distances, he’d learned pretty well how to figure that stuff out. Robin had been really helpful with that, she explained and he got it, Dustin had tried to teach him, but Robin was better at using regular English, where Dustin only spoke Geek. By the time Steve reached the ground he was breathless and had a pretty good stitch in his side. Steve glanced at his wristwatch.

“Nice, new record.” He gasped and started walking, he made it about twenty paces before turning a hard right, he pulled his compass out and watched the needle spin to its proper position, then made another right and was finally headed in the right direction.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. You better still be there.” Steve figured if he kept a good pace, somewhere between a walk and jog he could cut four miles in less than an hour, so he’d probably reach their campsite in 45 minutes. He felt oddly proud of himself for doing calculations in his head, he just wasn’t sure how accurate he was. Steve half jogged and half walked, at about what he hoped was his halfway point he went to the top of a ridge and pulled out his binoculars and consulted his map and compass and pointed them in the direction of where he’d seen the small flickering flames. There was more daylight he realized, thus making the fire more difficult to spot, and if it was a controlled fire, how long would they keep it burning? Steve head started to hurt, he didn’t know if it was the physical exertion he’d just put himself through or all the calculations he was trying to do.

Steve sat down heavily on the log next to the recently built fire pit. He leaned forward and put his hand in the ash, it was still warm, but the fire was extinguished. He looked around on the ground, whoever had been there had spent the night. Steve crouched examining the earth. There was a spot cleared of rocks next to a large bolder, that was only maybe a foot and a half from the fire. There wasn’t any trash left around, and no distinguishable shoe prints.

“Okay, Sherlock. Looks like you found your campfire.” Steve frowned.

He sat there catching his breath, he pulled off his back-pack and shrugged out of his parka. He felt a little overheated. Steve unscrewed the cap from his water canteen and took a small sip, like he’d been taught, despite wanting to take a huge gulp. As he was finally still, sitting under the canopy of low branches, the sounds of the forest encompassed him, the leaves and branches clicked and popped in the breeze as the frost that had settled overnight started to break up, the rising sunlight had gone from a pale silver to a cold golden light as more clouds were blowing in little by little. Steve really hadn’t noticed the constant breeze till he was truly holding still. He’d been so caught up in getting to the now dead, campfire he hadn’t really been paying the weather any mind. There was no birdsong, as was to be expected in that time of year, but Steve strained his ears hoping to hear some. He’d seen a few owls, and rabbits, but the park lands had been very lonely and quiet, and even some woodland creatures would be a welcome sight, he supposed they were all hibernating or staying in their burrows for warmth.Steve pressed the heels of his hiking boots into the soil and let out a slow breath, he thought about his trek back, if he should just go back to his tower or maybe walk around a bit to see if he found more signs of his mysterious trespasser.

Steve heard the distinct sound of snapping branches and stood up like a shot, he turned to peer in the direction it had come from and started moving towards it. He walked quickly, half jogging between trees and weaving around low hedges, he nearly stumbled into a small dip in the earth but managed to leap across it, it was more of a fisher than a dip, like something had burrowed into an already partially split part of the ground, he glanced back and spied the faint orange coloring of a cigarette butt. Steve turned back and stooped to pick up the butt. It was burned to the end and the filter had been pinched out, or tread on, he wasn’t sure which. He put the butt in his jacket pocket, not really sure why and walked further along hoping he was still moving towards the source of the sound he’d heard. After walking for about five minutes he stopped, he hadn’t heard any other sounds and there was no other sign of life. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the butt, it didn’t look like it had been on the ground long, the paper was still bright and stiff, it wasn’t soggy and dull colored, he turned it in his fingers frowning.

“You could have at least stuck around and offered me one.” He squinted through the trees, not expecting to see anyone only to see someone.

Steve did a double take, it was more of a shape than a someone, disappearing into the forest, moving away from him, they were so far off that he could only guess it was a man by their size and motion, that they were wearing dark clothing, and moving with agility at a decent clip too. They had to be nearly two miles away. Steve cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled.

“HELLO?” He shook his head, he’d lost sight of them.

Steve started to jog after the vanished figure and then broke into a run, he wondered what the hell he was going to do if he caught up with them, and if they were avoiding him on purpose. It was very quiet in the woods but with the density of the trees, and the distance there was no way of knowing if they’d heard him shout. Steve careened off a small drop this time, he managed to mostly stumble and run down to the bottom, keeping his feet beneath himself.

“Shit.” He looked up the ditch, the walls of the dale would be easy to scale, it was only roughly twelve feet of earth and the slope was not too steep to get up and out of. After he scrambled up on to level land again he decided he’d better make his way back to the tower before he broke his neck chasing a shadow in the woods.

**Alone**

By the time Steve got back to the top of the tower his legs were like nearly buckling beneath him, his thermal shirt was soaked and the armpits and the back of his uniform shirt was dark and damp. He hung up his parka and pulled the cigarette butt out of his pocket and put it in an empty jam jar, as if it was an insect that needed safe keeping. He put on the kettle and heated a bowl of water and washed before putting on fresh dry clothes. He was voraciously hungry and exhausted from running around on what ended up being a wild goose chase. Steve made himself write a brief memo in the report log before eating some stale cookies and laying back on his bed falling into a deep sleep.

_Steve was sitting at the wheel of a strange car, Robin wasn’t beside him, the Camaro was barreling towards the Wheeler family station wagon, but instead of Nancy standing there it was Billy, he wasn’t firing a gun, he was screaming and screaming, Steve stomped on the gas pedal hoping he could hit the Camaro before it got to Billy, behind the wheel was also Billy, his face set in a stiff grimace, his eyes black and unseeable._

Steve jolted awake at the point of the car collision in the dream, he wasn’t sure if he’d saved either of them, or just killed both Billys. He was sweating and breathless, he was pretty sure that he’d yelled out, but there was no one around to confirm it. He shoved off the heavy blankets and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back he could feel it was damp with sweat.The tower was dark, he peered out the windows and saw flurries of snow drifting down, the world was nearly colorless, he sat on the bed catching his breath watching the flakes flutter down in swarms. He grabbed his watch off of the bedside table and turned on his reading lamp, it was a quarter to five, he’d lost all the remaining daylight sleeping off his earlier adventures. A strong gust of wind buffeted against the tower, making it murmur and shift. Steve frowned as he pulled on his boots and walked across the room to his telescope. He scanned the woods looking for fire. If there was still someone out there he hoped they found a safe warm space. The last thing he wanted was to find was someone with frost bite, or worse, someone who died of hypothermia on his watch.

**Over and Out**

“Steve, are you okay?” Robin’s voice came crackling over the radio, after a brief pause, “over.”

“Yeah, I think so. I just wanted to hear your voice. Over.”

“That’s really sweet but you do realize your little friend Gumbo came into Family Video like it was some kind of emergency, and now he’s staring at me,”

“You’re in my room using my radio.” Dustin’s voice cut over the radio.

“Now he’s being annoying. Over.” Robin snarked.

“Dustin, just give us ten minutes, okay? Over.” Steve pleaded.

“Fine, and everyone knows you guys are dating, I don’t know why you both insist on hiding your love for one another it’s really unhealthy. Over.”

“We’re friends, dumbass. OVER.” Steve yelled into the mic, he was getting frustrated and he’d only been on the radio for five minutes, he was wondering why he’d been so desperate to talk to people now that he was actually doing it.

“Sure, whatever, but I’ve got an important transmission to make at exactly 7:15PM Eastern Standard Time, got that? Over.”

“Yes, copy that, now give us some privacy. Over.” Steve demanded.

“Gimmie that, okay dingus,” Robin paused,“Gumbo has left the room but I wouldn’t be surprised,” Robin raised her voice “If he’s just standing on the other side of the door…”

“You have to say over.” Steve muttered, “Over.”

“Yes, copy that. Over.” Robin said robotically.

“Do you think, I could have saved Billy? Over.” Steve asked quickly, he didn’t want to beat around the bush, Robin was smart, and she was honest.

“Whoa, um. No. No Steve I don’t. Why are you thinking about that?” Robin’s voice was crackling with radio static, Steve idly wondered if there was going to be more snow as he stared out at the vista of the forest, he drew a breath realizing she’d forgotten to say over.

“I keep dreaming about him, about the monster, I used to dream about the Russians, but lately it’s just Billy. Over.”

“We couldn’t have saved Billy, that giant Mind-Flayer corpse monster was after us, the Camaro was on fire, and Billy was like possessed by it. Steve, there wasn’t anything you could have done.” Robin sighed, “Over.”

“I keep thinking maybe if I’d gone and yanked him out, if I could have like tied him up and thrown him in the car with us.” Steve paced as far as the cord would permit on the radio’s mic.

“You didn’t have time, let alone rope. I was there, I remember. Hey, your little buddy was telling me that you told him last Sunday that you saw a trespasser in the woods, is that true? Are you okay all alone out there?” Robin sounded agitated now.

“You need to say over. Over.” Steve sat back down in his chair and jogged his legs, he glanced at the small wood burning stove in the center of the cabin, he’d need to haul up more wood, and tarp what he couldn’t carry up to keep it dry. He wondered if the mysterious trespasser had moved on, maybe made it all the way to Martinsville.

“Oh geeze, fine, got it. Over.” Robin grumbled.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Steve blinked thinking he could be just getting home form Family Video, maybe going on a drive with Robin to see one of her special lady friends over in Wabash,“I mean it’s been seven days and there’s no sign of anyone. I think it was just some wilderness survivor nut or something. It’s not like there’s much hunting, and I think the first snow fall must have driven him off. Over.”

“Dingus, be careful. You’re basically a security guard for an abandoned theme park that’s 49,000 acres. You’re all alone out there. Just be _smart_,” Robin paused, her voice had gotten a little thick with emotion. “I know it’s hard. Over.”

“Very funny, ha-ha.” Steve said dryly, “Hey, um how’s your pal, Maria? Over.”

“She’s good, but not as good as Angela. Over.” Robin’s voice had a coyness about it.

“You dog! I want details! Over.” Steve laughed into the mic, it was the first genuine laugh he’d had in days, it felt good to talk to Robin again, it was hard to believe it’d been over a month since he’d hung out with her.

“Ew. Never. I’m a lady, I don’t kiss and tell. Over.” Robin was laughing.

Steve smiled, he wanted to talk to Robin about the day he’d seen the campfire, about the feeling of being alone in the woods, how it made him feel small and vulnerable some days, and other days how the stillness made him feel grounded and safe, but the words wouldn’t come and he knew Dustin was probably dying to get in touch with his Suzie.

“Hey, Robin, thanks, thanks for going to Dustin’s so I could talk to you. I miss you. Over.” Steve peered out the window, looking in the direction of Hawkins, surprised to be home sick.

“Miss you too, be careful and I’ll see you soon. Over.”Robin said, her tone light.

“Don’t go breaking any hearts, lady killer. Over and Out.” Steve turned off the radio and sat back.

**Snow Daze**

Steve had been hiking around the forest surveying and taking notes since nine in the morning. Now that he was heading back to the tower and daylight was thinning he wished he hadn’t decided to go so far. His back was aching between the shoulders blades and his legs felt heavy, and he hadn’t even started climbing the stairs. As far as he could tell nobody had been in the woods, there’d been a light snowfall, and there were no tracks, no fire pits, no trash. Zero signs of people, but he had kind of hoped he’d run into someone. It would have been nice just to see a face, maybe here a voice that wasn’t over the radio. Talking to Paul at the main station was fine, and he did once a week as a brief check in, but he missed just interacting with people. He didn’t think he’d ever do another winter in the fire tower, besides how many forest fires broke out in the dead of winter? He’d have to to look up statistics, Steve thought seriously. He reached up and scratched along his jaw, he had some scruff that he’d kept meaning to shave off, but then again there was no one around to impress. He was nearly at the base of the tower stairs when he saw two pairs of tracks. At first glance Steve thought he was seeing his own, but the snow had fallen long after he’d been gone.

“What the hell?” Steve muttered.

He looked at the boot tracks in the snow, they were not unlike his own, slightly different and yet also boot prints, maybe military issue, Steve knelt getting a closer look. He had no idea, and their were older tracks leading to the tower as well as fresher ones leading away.

“No fucking way!” Steve started following the tracks leading away, they went back into the woods in the opposite direction he’d come from.

“Hello! HELLO?” Steve yelled, he followed the tracks, even when they disappeared from sight he stuck with it until he found more. He moved quickly, his breath coming out in clouds of steam, his boots crunching in the icee snow on the ground, the light was fading, everything had a pewter tint to it, but he didn’t want to give up on the trail.

After thirty minutes he realized he had about a quarter of an hour’s worth of twilight left, and then it would be full dark. Steve looked all around, he was surrounded by a silent audience of trees. Fat flakes of snow fell and clung to his brows and eyelashes. He’d lost sight of the tracks and hadn’t brought a flashlight with him because he thought he’d be safe and snug in the tower long before dusk.

Steve walked back quickly, using the dying light and his compass to stumble his way back, he got turned around once, but thankfully the tower was tall and if he craned his head up in the right direction he could just make out the outline of it, a slightly skeletal looking shadow against the night sky.

By the time Steve reached the top of his tower he was exhausted, he looked around checking to see what the stranger in the woods had taken, or done. Steve turned on the lights, momentarily blinded before he could start inspecting his small space and his possessions. He had never locked the tower door before, but this time he locked himself in and would be locking it all the time now. First he checked the rifle cabinet, both rifles and the handgun were there. His bed was untouched. His books and his journal also untouched. Steve started to doubt that they’d, whoever they were, had actually come upstairs to the tower at all, maybe they’d just climbed half way up and given up, Steve opened his ice box and that’s when he noticed the first missing item.

“My cheese, you took my cheese, you bastard.” Steve exclaimed.

Steve pushed around a few other items, his baloney was gone too. He dug deeper in the little cold case, he still had an unopened pack of baloney, and there was some cheddar, but they’d stolen his Monterey-Jack cheese, and he really liked Monterey-Jack cheese. Steve frowned. He opened the food pantry, he was missing the remaining half of his white bread loaf, and a box of crackers, about a half dozen eggs and most heartbreaking, they’d stolen his bag of Oreos that the kids had given him.

“Son of a bitch.” Steve muttered.

“Great, I bet you think you’re really clever. Asshole!” Steve was more tired than angry so he got into is spare thermals and then threw on his pajamas over that, pacing and muttering to himself. He brushed his teeth with the tower lights off, not wanting to be observed not that there was really a vantage point where someone could watch him. Steve paused mid brushing, he had anew thought, but they must have been watching him, or how else would they know when to come up into the tower?

“Oh, you fucker. You creepy stalker.” Steve shook his head, by the time he got in bed he was all wound up again and feeling more than a little paranoid.

The next morning Steve was awoken by a voice coming over the radio.

“This is Ranger Little-Owl, come in Ranger Harrington. Over.”

“I work for Scoops…” Steve sat up, he’d been dreaming about Russians, they’d come to the forest and were questioning him, but instead of his Rangers uniform he’d been dressed in his Scoops duds.

“Ranger Harrington, do you copy? Come in Ranger Harrington, this is Ranger Little-Owl. Over.”

“I’m coming.” Steve cracked his eyes open, it was still dark. He turned on the lamp next to his bed and squinted at the radio. There was frost on the glass and the sky was lit in thin grey shades and silvery streaks of light along the horizon, snowflakes were twisting down in steady waves. He stared thinking it was both beautiful and chilling.

“Steve Harrington, do you copy? It’s Paul Little-Owl. Over.”

Steve snapped back to reality and walked across the cold wooden floor to the radio desk and answered.

“This is Ranger Harrington at the Mason Ridge Fire Tower, Good morning Ranger Little-Owl. Over.”

“Hey, Steve! I was getting worried about you kid, listen up you’re in for a blizzard, don’t go out on any surveillance hikes and if you see any fires I need you to radio in to the emergency frequency. Over.”

“Yeah, it seems pretty unlikely we’ll get a forest fire in a blizzard, doesn’t it? Over.” Steve frowned, and looked at his wrist watch, it was already eleven in the morning, he’d never managed to sleep in that late since coming to the tower.

“Just standard procedure, but yeah, it’s damned unlikely. Well, sit tight, if your power goes out just use your candles and your oil lamps. The storm should pass in three days. If you have an emergency you better give us a shout, you hear me kid? Don’t go wandering around out there for nothing. Over.”

“Hey, there’s a slight problem,” Steve hesitated, “Someone broke in the tower last night, they just took food, but like, what if they’re caught in this? Over.” Steve felt nervous for whoever was out there, what if they froze to death, he didn’t like the idea of anyone dying alone out in the cold, even if it was like going to sleep according to Max.

“No kidding? The ghost is back, huh. Well if that thieving bastard freezes we’ll just have to take him into the Martinsville Morgue and call it a day. Only a fool tries to live in the wild during the winter. Over.”

“Wait, isn’t that what I’m doing?” Steve shook his head, “Don’t answer that, okay Paul, I’ll stay in till the blizzard passes and um, use the emergency frequency if I need to or if there’s fire. So, what does this ghost look like, did you really take a shot at him? I saw ghost written in the ammo log. Over.” Steve got up and grabbed his parka, he put it on over his pajamas and started putting tinder in the potbellied stove that sat in the middle of tower.

“Couldn’t say really, a man, maybe five ten or so, less than six, moved pretty good, so I’d say youngish. He stole my wool blanket back in October, I saw him running from the tower steps so I fired a warning shot, and then he was gone. Over.”

“So why didn’t you put thief or trespasser in the ammo log? Over.” Steve set the kettle on top of the stove.

“Because I was embarrassed that someone robbed me. Over.” Paul confessed.

“I get that. Over.” Steve sighed, he’d run out of things to say, and he was worried he’d find a frozen corpse after the blizzard ended.

“Alright, Ranger Harrington, this is Ranger Little-Owl signing off. Over and Out.” 

Steve made a small breakfast to make up for the raid on his supplies, and pulled out a deck of playing cards that Jonathan had sent to his house in the mail as a congratulations on his job. Steve shuffled the deck thinking about home, about Russians and Jonathan and Nancy, he turned his thoughts away from Billy as much as he could. There was a small note folded in half and taped to box the cards came in, Steve flipped it open and read, not for the first time.

_Congrats on your career path, Thoreau would be proud. Maybe we’ve never been close, but we’ll always have each others backs. - JB_

He’d have to ask Robin who the hell Thoreau was, he thought as he shuffle the deck. Steve played countless hands of solitaire, read a chapter of Watership Down and made oatmeal when he was feeling peckish. He kept the room from being intolerably cold by feeding wood into the potbellied stove. He put his walkman on and shoved in a mixed tape he’d made and listened to music as he watched the outside slowly vanish behind a veil of dancing white snow flakes.

The blizzard stretched on to a fourth day, and Steve had a brief chat with Paul on the radio, turned out it looked like there’d be at least five days of heavy snow total. Paul sounded worried, which just made Steve feel more anxious, but he did his best to reassure his mentor that he had everything under control and that there was no need to send out the calvary.

“This is easy, I’m reading, and keeping warm, I’ve got plenty of wood stocked up and the power has stayed on”, Steve paused, running out of things to say, but not wanting to give up talking to Paul just yet, “So, um, how’s um, Mrs Little-Owl? Over.”

“She’s good, we’re fine, she’s been traveling with me between home and the station quite a bit with our dogs. I’m worried about you kid, this is your first season. Over.”

“Oh, I’ve been through some stuff, this is like, a cakewalk, super easy. Just you know, biding my time up in my nest. Over.” Steve wished he was home, or hanging out with Robin, but he kept his tone as light as he could.

**February 14th**

Steve opened his journal and wrote:

_Four days of heavy snow. Hate snow. Hate the forest. Fuck this job. Starting to think I may have been right when I said, I’m going to die alone in the woods. Happy Valentine’s Day._

Steve put an extra blanket on the bed, and stuffed the little stove with wood, hoping that he wouldn’t have to get up in the night and reload it. He did have enough wood for another three days or so, but after that it would have to be gathered, which meant it would be wet and smokey. He cursed softly under his breath and crawled under his blankets, he was feeling anxious and sleep didn’t seem possible, but the sound of the crackling fire and the murmuring of the snow filled wind soothed him like a strange lullaby and soon he was deep asleep.

Steve sat up in his bed, the fire had diminished from lapping flames to golden and red streaked coals that he could see through the vents in the stove’s door. The tower groaned and sighed as the sturdy breezes rushed up against it. Steve’s eyes flicked around the dark room. He wasn’t sure what time it was, couldn’t even say why he was awake, his heart was rocketing in his chest. He stared in the directions of windows but it was so intensely black that he couldn’t see anything at all. His bed was against the one quarter of wall space without a window, and he’d tacked blankets up over all but the main window facing north. There was a a whine of metal, and Steve felt his stomach drop. He wondered if the fire tower was going to tip over, maybe it’d become too heavy with snow, he felt a panic rising in his guts. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slid his foot left to right till he felt a boot, he reached down and put it on in the dark. He found the other and stepped into it. Steve reached over to his lamp and pulled the cord and listen to the familiar click, but the bulb didn’t illuminate, it didn’t even buzz or blink out. The power is out, he thought in dismay. Steve reached into under the bedside table and flicked on the battery operated lamp, he squinted blinded by the bright light bulb and turned away from it. There was an thunderous cracking sound, and Steve set the lamp on the bed and realized he was shaking. He walked towards the door and was about to rest his hand on the knob when he heard a steady thump, thump, thump, and he could feel the vibrations coming through the floor. He’d never been in the tower when someone was coming up the stairs, but he knew in his heart that that’s what he was hearing. Someone was making their way up twelve flights of stairs in the middle of the night, during a blizzard. Steve’s blood ran cold. He swallowed, dry mouthed, and then moved into action. He got the pistol out of the cabinet and made sure it was loaded. He set the lamp on the floor in the opposite corner of the door and let his eyes adjust to the low light. He could still hear them coming up the stairs, he couldn’t imagine how cold the steel hand-railings would be to touch, nor how slick the wooden steps were glazed with ice and windswept smooth as glass. He threw his parka on, anticipating opening the door, but not wanting to. The steps stopped. Steve could feel his heart practically pushing its way out of his chest. Three loud thumps hit the door shaking the whole of the tower. Steve walked towards the door, and unlocked it slowly, he could feel his hands shaking with adrenaline.

“It’s just somebody that’s cold, they need help.” Steve prayed as he pulled the door open.

**The Ghost and the Tower**

Billy’s teeth were chattering so hard he couldn’t see straight, not that it would matter if he could because his eyelashes nearly were frozen together. He wasn’t sure how he’d made it to the top of the tower when he couldn’t feel his hands let alone his feet, but he’d be damned if he froze outside the door without at least trying to get in.Billy thought he saw a slice of light glowing from within, he kicked the door three times. If there wasn’t someone in there he decided he was going tobreak a window and climb in.Billy had needed to get out of the cold days ago, but now he was at his breaking point. Earlier that morning he’d thought he’d just let the cold take him.

_HE likes it cold…_

But a dark memory kicked a shot of adrenaline into Billy’s blood stream, and it sent him towards the tower.

The forest that had been an oasis from humanity was now a no man’s land, unforgiving and somehow cruel in its indifference to his suffering, but Billy knew how to handle indifference, how to survive on his own. He struggled at first, but the forest, even in the chilly fall had been better than the blank stares and rare concerned looks he’d been getting at the hospital, sometimes he didn’t even think it was concern, maybe fear, maybe hate, he didn’t know, and he told himself again and again, it didn’t matter, nothing mattered anymore, maybe never did.

Billy had some basic survival skills, mostly gleaned from novels and magazines, and an iron will. He didn’t want to be in the hospital any more. So he pulled out his wires and tubes and left. Billy didn’t want _HIM_ to kill the girl that _knew_ Billy’s heart, so he stopped it. He didn’t want to show his father fear, so he faced him. He didn’t want to give his heart to that boy, so he broke him. Billy had always had an iron will. He was certain he’d gotten it from his mother, that that had been the reason she’d had to leave, she couldn’t take Billy with her, he liked to think she’d wanted to, but freedom and survival had outweighed her instincts and desire to be a mother… he could almost forgive her when he thought about it that way.

Getting out of his little lean-to shelter composed of sturdy branches and cut evergreen boughs had been like digging his way out of a primitive tomb. The snow had been falling for days and far more intensely than he’d realized. He shoved away a couple of the branches he’d lodge at an angel against a bolder and slid between them, the rest of the branches were knit together, bonded by ice. He reached back and pulled out his backpack with all his worldly possessions and slung it on his back. He’d been cold within his claustrophobic shelter, but now that he was out of it he was shaking uncontrollably. In an effort to get warm he started walking, his legs sank deep into the powdery snow. Billy had nowhere to go _but_ to the ranger’s fire tower, the one that he’d stolen food from less than a week ago. He reasoned that he’d only taken what he needed, they’d forgive him, and if they didn’t, fine, community service, jail time, whatever, he’d do it, he’d deal with the consequences of returning to the land of the living if it meant he’d survive the blizzard.

Billy hadn’t gone far before getting turned around in the sea of white. Flurries of soft snow built up around him, obscured the sky line, and swallowed everything that was familiar about the woods he’d been hiding in for months. He had found a compass when he’d first come into the forest, it was left behind along with some trash and a soiled sleeping bag, he’d used the trash as tinder to start a fire, and the sleeping bag he’d washed in a stream and let it air out for a couple days before making his own. He’d left it behind in the lean-to, but the compass was around his neck. He pulled on the string and reached for the chain of his pendant, but she was gone, had been for some time, the last remnant of his mother was lost, outside of his blue eyes. The compass needle didn’t move, it was frozen in place or so Billy feared, he shook it hard and then to his relief it spun to life and pointed North. Billy plowed through the snow, more than once he stumbled into a drift that was up to his chest, and once alarmingly, over his head. He kept moving, reminding himself the tower was close, once he got there he’d be safe. He’d be able to sleep, because all he really wanted to do was sleep.

**Falling Up**

Billy wobbled on the narrow platform, he didn’t know how he’d managed to get there, he had no idea when the night had come, he shuddered trying to remember if he’d knocked yet, he meant to step forward but felt himself falling backwards. It didn’t feel real, he was just floating backwards off into nothing, as if he was swimming up into the snow flakes. He wondered why he wasn’t afraid, but then again, he’d died before.

Billy snapped out of his fugue state when his spine reverberated against the this low metal railing that was meant to keep people from wandering off the side, the second sensation was being hauled forward, there was a tension at his chest. Billy panicked.

_HE has me! HE will kill Max! HE will kill everyone!_

Instead of a being pierced and hooked like a fish he could feel arms wrap around him and pull him back from the railing, out of the snow and into a room, into the tower. The door slammed behind him with a bang, shutting out the snow and wind, shutting out the memory of the monster that had killed him.

**The Undead**

Steve fell on his ass, he’d opened the door just in time to see the ghost nearly fall backwards and over the railing. Even if there was twelve feet of snow there was no way anyone would survive that fall. Steve lunged forward with his arms out like a diver and grabbed the front of their jacket and yanked them into his arms with all of his might. He went tripping backwards into the tower room. Steve managed to kick the door shut before falling gracelessly with a thud on his ass, the ghost held tightly in his arms.

“That was close, really, holy shit, you’re like a block of ice!” Steve sputtered getting out from under the stranger. The ghost immediately curled onto their side in a tight fetal position, their body shaking uncontrollably.

Steve stood there, not knowing what to do, the stranger had a beanie pulled down to the tip of their nose, scruffy cheekbones were visible the rest of his face was obscured by a scarf that was wrapped tightly around their face. Steve couldn’t really guess much about them beyond male, nearly his height, and probably suffering from hypothermia. Steve felt a rush of panic, he’d never dealt with this, but he’d also never dealt with a demogorgon and he’d managed that pretty well, or at the very least, well enough. Steve crouched close to the supine man, he kept his voice low.

“Okay, don’t worry.” He said his voice trembling. “I’m going to strip you, because your clothes are soaked through.” He squeezed their shoulder trying to reassure them and hoping for some kind of response.

“Then I’m going to get you in bed, and I’m going to fill this stove to gils with wood and make it nice and toasty in here.” Steve was figuring out his plan as he spoke the words, he started working on the laces of the guy’s boots, they looked more like army jump boots than hiking boots and they were a little too big from what Steve could tell, not quite ridiculous but definitely loose. He pulled one of the battered boots off and watched as a clump of damp newspaper fell out of the toe. Steve tried to move faster, the man on the floor was shaking so hard it sounded like he was struggling to breathe.Steve pulled off wet socks, the skin on the strangers feet was very pale and felt stiff, they were icee to the touch. Steve felt his stomach flop at the thought of frostbite.

“Hey, hey, you got a name?” Steve pulled the backpack off of the man with some effort, it was hard to get it down his back and off his arms, because he was folded up so tight and shaking like a wet dog.Steve slid down the buckles that were used for tension at the straps, it was easier and the guy didn’t even seem to noticed the pack had been removed. He realized the stranger hadn’t said a word, Steve wondered if they were delirious with cold, he tried to remember the symptoms of hypothermia, he’d studied a lot of survival stuff of the last few weeks but it all seemed to be slipping from his mind now that he needed it.

“My name’s Steve.”Steve reached up and pulled back the beanie that was covering more than half of the stranger’s face, he needed to see if they were even lucid. The beanie slid off a head of cropped wheat colored hair, it looked like they’d shaved their head not long ago, their dark brows and lashes were shimmering with melted frost. Steve unwound the scarf from the lower half of their face.

“I’m not, I haven’t, I’m no… I’m…sorry.” They croaked as if they hadn’t spoken in days, the words incoherent and stuttering, their breathing was slowing and yet still laborious.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t be sorry, why are you sorry? If it’s about the cheese, I forgive you.” Steve pulled the scarf completely free and froze.

Wan as winter, his black eyebrows low and tight with tension, his head tilting away from the light, it was all eerily familiar, it was as if Steve was looking at a negative of photograph, not tan, but pale, not fearless but frightened. Steve stared and stared at the stranger on the floor; on his right cheek there was a raised scar no bigger than a thumbprint, rosy pink against his bloodless flesh, his lips were compressed as if he were holding in a mouth full of glass, his eyes closed so tightly that they only showed a line of black eyelashes above purple half-moons. Everything clicked into place, the picture was complete - it was Billy, or the ghost of Billy Hargrove, at this point anything was possible in Steve’s mind.

“Billy!” Steve said, grabbing Billy by his shoulders.

Billy nearly flinched out of his arms, but then just turned his face away, eyes shut, his body trembling violently.

“Okay, okay, Here we go.” Steve shook his head as he spoke, “I’m not hallucinating.”

Steve peeled off Billy’s jacket, and layers of shirts, there were at least four, and under his jeans he had some thermal pants but nothing else. Billy’s body was so pale he looked like marble. Steve knelt low, he was glad he’d been hauling wood up and down the stairs, his arms and legs were much stronger now than when he started there. He placed one arm under Billy’s back and clasped his shoulder and hooked his other arm under the bend of Billy’s knees and scooped him up. Billy’s jittering telegraphed through Steve’s body. Steve sat him on the chair next to the bed first, he rested one hand on Billy’s shoulder.

“I just need you to sit here for like one minute and then we’re gonna get you in bed okay, just don’t fall over.” Steve touched Billy’s shoulder, his hand briefly resting over the smoking skull tattoo, another confirmation that it really was Billy Hargrove, very much alive, although looking more like the undead because his skin was bloodless and was so very cold to the touch.

Steve squeezed Billy’s shoulder and let his eyes trail down Billy’s chest. Thick pink scars of raised skin looking like spattered wax laced across his skin in a broken ring, Steve wanted to study the scars, to look at the patterns, he hadn’t seen Billy die, he had not seen him save El, but he’d heard about it, heard how the Mind-Flayer had lifted him bodily from the ground and skewered him. Steve shivered and released Billy’s shoulder, he grabbed the heavy blankets and folded them back.

When Steve turned back Billy had nearly slumped off the edge of the chair Steve had perched him on.

“Whoops, whoa, whoa… Okay.” Steve hugged Billy around the waist and pulled him close, “Let’s just get you in bed.” Steve said softly.

Steve jumped when Billy grappled his arms around him tightly. For a moment he thought that Billy was going to wrestle him, or throw him on the ground, but all Billy did was squeeze Steve tightly.

“I’m cold, don’t let him, don’t, I can’t. He likes it. I don’t, I didn’t, gotta stop.” Billy stuttered into Steve’s ear.

Steve felt Billy’s face tuck into Steve’s neck as if hiding from the world.

“Hey, you’re safe. We just, I’m going to get you warm, you’re going to be fine.” Steve said gently. Steve stood there for a moment with Billy in his arms, holding him up in a fashion, but also hugging him. Steve shuffled a half step to the side and leaned towards the bed.

“Alright, um, down you go, you can let go.” Steve said, leaning with Billy to the side of the bed.

Billy’s cold arms slid off from around Steve, he curled on his side and shrank into a fetal position, Steve was distracted by the pattern of scars on Billy’s ribs and down his sides, most were pink and raised, some of the shallow scars had gone white. Steve leaned across Billy and pulled the heavy blankets over him.

“Okay, let’s get that fire going? Right?” Steve asked rhetorically.

Steve walked over to the iron stove and opened its door and piled in as much wood as he could fit without smothering the remaining embers from the previous fire. He kept looking back over his shoulder at Billy, but he hadn’t moved much, not at all outside of the constant shaking from being nearly frozen to death. Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and pressed his hand over Billy’s brow, he was still shaking and very cold.

“Okay, um, Billy, you’re cold and eh, if I had a bath tub, I’d fill it up with hot water and put you in it, but I don’t… So this might seem weird, but it’s going to work, okay?”

Steve kicked off his boots and stripped. He got in bed and scooted over to Billy and pulled him into his arms, he wasn’t sure if this was right, if they should they be face to face or back to back, but after a minute or two Billy still shivering opened his arm and pulled Steve into a tight embrace.

“Okay.” Steve said softly as he reached over and grabbed the blankets and pulled them up to the crown of Billy’s head. Billy felt unnaturally cold and was shivering. As far as Steve could remember that was better than someone with hypothermia not shivering, it meant his body was still fighting.

“It’s been really weird being here all alone, for weeks now, I didn’t think things could get much weirder, but I think this, this is far weirder.” Steve said as he adjusted his arms around Billy, his fingers lighting across some of Billy’s raised scars. Steve could feel that Billy wasn’t shivering as hard as before, and he no longer felt like a block of ice, though he still felt really cold in Steve’s arms.

Wind was buffeting against the windows of the tower, and murmuring as it rushed up the stairs and over the roof. Steve listened to the pop and crackle of the fire in the stove, its warmth was finally strong enough to reach them. He felt his eyelids growing weighty, he’d been fired up with adrenaline but now it was spent and he could feel how exhausted he was. He rested his eyes, he could feel Billy’s breath on his neck, steady, his shivers were now intermittent, Billy’s arms tightened around Steve pulling himself closer.

“Just relax.” Steve consoled.

Steve ran his hand over the back of Billy’s head, it just felt like the easiest way to offer comfort. He stopped himself before he did it again and sighed.

“I might fall asleep, but wake me up, if you’re feeling too cold, or hot, or need something.” Steve babbled.

Steve hadn’t held anyone in ages. He tried to remember the last time someone was in his arms for more than a brief hug. Billy’s breathing had grown regular, and deep. He wasn’t struggling anymore, and the shivering had all but stopped. Billy’s skin smelled of campfire and sweat. Steve wondered how long Billy had been out in the woods. How had he’d lived, why had everyone thought he was dead? Where had Billy been? Steve felt Billy lean into him, Steve moved back a hair, but then decided, he’d better not, Billy might still be too cold so he squeezed Billy closer still, they were so near one another Steve could feel Billy’s heart beating. It was the last thing Steve thought about before falling asleep.

*******

Billy awoke because his bladder felt like it was about to rupture. He vaguely remembered dreaming he was in a hospital that they hadn’t removed his catheter, that he was strapped down and drugged. His right arm was numb, he pulled back feeling it come to life with pin prickles and the sensation of a thousand ants marching along his flesh. Billy squirmed with the sensation and then froze, he was in bed with _someone_. His mind flashed back on the night before, he thought he’d fallen off the observation tower. Thought he’d been falling through the snow. Apparently he’d been rescued, and was now in bed with the Park Ranger. Billy frowned thinking, he’d dreamt about Steve too, but that had been different from the hospital dream. Billy untangled himself from the ranger, the guy had hair just like Steves. Billy sat up slowly his muscled ached and his skin felt strangely hot. He really needed to pee. Billy glanced at the face of the sleeping park ranger beside him, his features obscured by a wave of golden brown hair. Billy focused on their mouth and realized he stared at those lips a thousand times before.

“Steve?” Billy’s voice was raw, he wasn’t used to speaking anymore.

Billy reached over, he extended his fingers and saw that his hands were shaking, he gently brushed back some of the wild strands of hair and there was his pretty boy.Steve Harrington, the pretties boy he’d ever seen. Billy fumbled out of the bed, he stood up on shaky legs, feeling like a new born foal. Billy really needed to go but there didn’t seem to be a bathroom. It wasn’t till he was on his feet and walking across the room that he realized how cold the room was, he considered peeing outside off the side of the catwalk that led to the stairs. He spotted a weird little bench seat that had a curtain you could draw closed for privacy, he walked over quickly and flipped up the seat and received himself. Standing there he observed that the windows were covered in ice, the room was illuminated in an eerie light, he knew it had to mean it was early morning. Billy was hesitant to get back in the bed, but standing in the freezing cold naked was not going to work in his favor so he crawled back under the blankets beside Steve.

Billy laid down on his back only to realize his heart was hammering in his chest. The tower room was so quiet, the only constant noise was the wind blustering outside, his heart beat was too loud in his ears, he was sure it was loud enough to wake the dead. He hadn’t seen anyone from his life _before _hadn’t seen a single familiar face (outside of one) since the night at the mall. Billy certainly hadn’t talked to a soul from his past life, that’s what he thought of the time before the possession, his past life. Now he was there alone with Steve, the one person he’d been aching to see, wishing he had one more chance to talk to, he felt his mouth go dry, what could he possibly say? He shivered but he wasn’t sure if it was the due to the cold or his nerves. Billy rolled over on his side and looked at Steve’s face, it was pale and half buried in the pillow, lips parted just a fraction. His brown lashes were fine and fanned out, his freckles and beauty spots, that’s what his mother would have called them, stood out on his fair skin. Steve was much paler than the last time Billy had seen him, though there was a streak of sun kissed skin on his cheeks and nose, no doubt from winter hikes. Billy shifted closer, he wanted to touch Steve, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted to touch someone. Billy reached up and touched Steve’s cheek, it was warm, a bit of downy peach fuzz was sprouting on his cheeks, Billy let his thumb brush over Steve’s bottom lip and then froze, he hadn’t meant to do it, but now that he’d started he didn’t want to stop. He stroked his thumb back across Steve’s plump bottom lip and swallowed, he imagined kissing those lips, not for the first time. He withdrew his hand and moved closer, sliding one arm under Steve’s side, Steve didn’t stir, he was heavy with sleep, in a deep dreamless state, for which Billy felt lucky. He held Steve close, absorbing his warmth, his softness. Steve smelled of Irish-Spring soap and campfires. Billy leaned close and let the tip of his tongue taste Steve’s throat, it had a tang of sweet-salt, it made Billy’s mouth water. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, and told himself to stop. He pressed closer to Steve, and let the comfort and the safety of Steve’s company ease him into a twilight sleep, he wasn’t dreaming but he didn’t feel quite lucid either, just the odd sensation of being sheltered, it had been so long since he felt safe, it was practically a new sensation. He permitted himself to sink into the feeling, all too aware of the temporal nature of moments like it.

When Billy cracked his eyes open, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been sleeping. The light had changed. The room was somewhat brighter, some of the frost had had melted from the glass making little portholes of visible sky. He thought it had to be closer to afternoon, but the sky was obscured by the frost and falling snow. He had Steve in his arms and Steve had one arm across Billy’s back. Billy was about to lift his head to look at Steve, when he realized that Steve was speaking, his voice low and thoughtful.

“I’m really glad you’re alive.” Steve seemed to be thinking aloud more than actually addressing Billy.

Billy’s stomach flopped just hearing him say it, he’d thought Steve would be disappointed, or angry, but he wasn’t he’d just said he was glad. Billy nearly said, me too, but he just exhaled slowly.

“It’s funny, it’s just so random, that you’re here and I’m here, like it was like, meant to be or something…” Steve’s voice went lower, “like fate or something.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “I’m sorry I didn’t go back for you, that thing, the Mind-Flayer, the Monster, it was coming for us, and I couldn’t let you hit Nancy, and then, I just rammed into your Camaro, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t go back for you. I’m sorry I didn’t pull you out of the car, everything just happened so fast. But if I had gone back, if I’d dragged you away, El and the others, you wouldn’t have been there to save them, you’re a hero, Billy. A real hero.” Steve sighed and grew silent.

Billy rolled away on his side because hot tears were pouring down his face and he couldn’t stop them; he was still feigning sleep. Billy did his best to keep his breathing even, tried to stay silent as he cried, somewhere between breaths he fell back asleep.

*******

Billy awoke, he was still exhausted and starting to lose track of how many times he’d awakened and fallen back asleep, but this time was different he had the bed to himself. Billy saw Steve busily heating something in a sauce pan and divvying out crackers onto two plates. The sky was dark, Steve was mirrored in the wide windows, a distorted black mirror of Steve was bounced back into Billy’s vision, the sight of Steve’s shadowy doppelgänger made Billy shiver and shrink deeper into the blankets.

Billy had been dreaming, it was a dream he had often; but if he were honest with himself it was a memory. Laying in a hospital bed, the sounds of beeping machines, sweat rolling in his eyes, sticking sheets, burning pain running up and down his body. Being vaguely aware of tubes in his nose, and needles in his arms, and then the door to the room swung open, he could barely see what was happening through a gap in the curtain that surrounded his bed.

“Mr Hargrove, we think this is your son, we wouldn’t ask you to be here if thought otherwise.” A voice floated along hard floors and through the cheap dirty white curtain that divided the room from his bed.

“My son’s dead, a lot of people are dead because of the shoddy construction work that went into that mall. You’re wasting my time.” Neil’s voice made Billy’s heart race, the heart monitor echoed his anxiety in rapidly increasing beeps.

The curtain was drawn back, Billy squinted as bright fluorescent light turned the world into a haze of white, turning the man in the white coat that stood beside the outline of his father into something like glowing ghosts, more static than form, they were only real for the sounds of their voices.

“That’s not my son. My son is dead.” Neil’s voice boomed as if the room was an amphitheater.

“He may not look like what you’re accustomed to, he has a lot of swelling, um, he’s got a tattoo.” The shape of the doctor moved closer, Billy could barely make him out through the tangle of his damp lashes and the fog of drugs.

“I don’t know who this, person is.” Neil lied.

“Mr Hargrove, did your son have a birth mark on his left shoulder, and a skull tattoo on his right shoulder just above his bicep?” A calm determined voice doggedly asked.

“_My son is dead!_” Neil had roared.

Billy remembered trying to turn away from him, trying to turn his back on him, but his body was so heavy, and everything burned, then there were more needles and Neil was gone, and it was like he’d never been there at all, like Billy’s father was just a bad dream.

*******

“Hey, do you think you could have some soup?” Steve watched as Billy startled at the sound of his voice. “Oh man, I’m sorry. I thought you were awake. Um, hey?” Steve sat on the edge of the bed, “You’ve been sleeping, like a lot. I really think you should eat something, I heated some chicken-noodle soup.”

Steve pulled the blankets down a bit trying to get a better look at Billy’s face.Billy had swaddled himself tightly, but he wasn’t shaking anymore and his color, although still very pale, was better.

“I’ll, um, let’s see. I can bring you the soup, and some hot tea. Do you take anything in your tea? My mom likes cream and sugar, I think she likes to pretend she’s like Princess Diana or something, it’s a very British thing to do, I guess.” Steve didn’t know why he was talking so much, but then again, Billy wasn’t and it was making Steve nervous.

Steve ladled some soup into a large mug and then poured some tea in another, he glanced over at Billy and decided the cream and sugar might do him some good. Steve had never known Billy to be thin. He’d always been muscular, built like a predator with a gaze to match, but now he looked wiry like a Bantamweight boxer, still dangerous but not an ounce of fat on him. Steve grabbed a small box of ginger cookies and decided that whatever Billy ate would do him some good as long as he ate something. He set everything on the bedside table and offered Billy his hand.

“C’mon take my hand, I’m going to help you sit up.” Steve offered his hand and was surprised how quickly Billy clasped it, their eyes locked and Steve felt the world tilt as he experienced a heavy flash of déjà vu.

“Okay, here we are.” Steve reached past Billy and grabbed the pillows arranging them to better support his back. “Is that okay?” Steve asked.

Billy nodded, and lowered his eyes looking down at Steve’s hand, still clasped tightly in his own.

“Good, yeah.” Steve nodded as he released Billy’s hand and felt himself blushing, he wasn’t even sure why he was blushing, or why he was nervous, it wasn’t as if Billy was going to challenge him to a fight or was still possessed by the Mind-Flayer.

“Here.” Steve handed Billy’ the cup of soup and ran his hand over his head, sliding his beanie into an odd angle and then re-centering it on his head. He watched Billy close his eyes as he blew the steam from the broth and took a cautious sip. Billy looked like an angel, his thick dark lashes pressed down while tendrils of steam wafted away from his pursed lips. Steve swallowed hard, he could feel himself blushing harder, and a very disconcerting tinge deep in his lower abdomen.

“I, uh. I guess you’re wondering what I’m doing out here? I’m like, a park ranger now, wild huh? I mean, what with the mall going up in a fiery blaze and all and, yeah… so that job kind of fell through, and then I was working at Family Video, which wasn’t as horrible as you might imagine. I guess, I just thought, well… you know.” Steve hesitated and sighed, “I thought I was going to work for my dad, and then he kind of freaked out on me because my grades were awful, and you know how dads are, and I just wanted to do something… useful?” Steve shrugged, and ran his hands over his lap before continuing,“I didn’t want to be like a policeman, or a fireman, well I thought about that too, but I decided that this might be better? I don’t know, I took some classes, and then I landed this gig. I mean, if you want to know a secret? My mom kind of helped me get this job, I did take the classes and I passed, but they were considering not having someone stationed here this season. She really is trying to help, so she talked them into having me here, she knows a lot of people, she’s kind of a big deal, in Hawkins, anyways…” Steve felt his voice trail off, he had no idea why he was talking so much.

Billy sipped his soup, his eyes met Steve’s and then looked down at the cup.

“I haven’t told anyone that, I mean that my mom kind of set me up to get this job, you know, to gain some experience.” Steve cleared his throat, he thought about jumping off the side of the tower cat-walk, but shook it off, “Turns out I’m not very good at… life, I mean sure people like me, people also like house cats and dogs... but they’ve lost there function, you know - most dogs don’t know how to guard a house, house cats don’t mouse, they’re not useful anymore. Sure I’m good in a crisis... outside of that, I’m pretty much useless. Like dumb and lovable and useless and I just kind of take up space.” Steve looked at the floor and wished he’d never said anything at all, wished he could just be silent for once.

“What’s so great about being smart?” Billy’s voice came out like dry straw, but he continued speaking,“I’m smart, didn’t do me any good.” Billy said into the cup, before draining the last of its contents. His voice was ragged but he spoke slowly and clearly.

“I…” Steve drew a breath, not knowing what to say, surprised the Billy had finally spoken, “I guess I wouldn’t know, cause I’m not?” Steve smiled faintly watching Billy.

“You’re smarter than you think.” Billy set the cup down and laid back into the pillows.

Steve watched Billy’s heavy lidded eyes dip, he looked food drunk.

“Thanks.” Steve said softly, he leaned over to pick up the cup, but he stopped when Billy placed his hand on his.

“Will you lay down?” Billy asked his voice low and scratchy.

“Right now?” Steve looked at Billy curiously.

Billy swallowed and nodded averting his gaze.

“Yeah, sure.”Steve said as casually as he could manage.

Steve set down the cup and slowly laid himself down next to Billy on top of the blankets. He felt Billy move closer to him and then turn his face into Steve’s chest. Steve’s heart leapt, as if it had a mind of its own, he didn’t know what anything meant anymore, he just knew he was glad to be there, glad Billy was alive. Steve slipped his arms around Billy cautiously.

“Loyalty is something that not a lot of people can give.” Billy’s voice rasped faintly, as if he were already half asleep.

“How do you mean?” Steve asked in a whisper.

“You said you’re like a dog, dogs are loyal, that’s, that’s… it’s good, it’s a strength.” Billy sounded like he was fighting sleep and struggling to follow the train of his thoughts.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, agreeing but more in wonder of what had just happened, Billy was being kind, he was saying nice things, trying to make Steve feel better, and the most amazing part of it, was that it was working, “Thanks.” Steve hugged Billy a little closer and then froze, worried that he’d offend him, or get elbowed.

Billy’s breathing grew slower and deeper, nestled against Steve’s chest, and eventually relaxed into a heavy sleep. Steve cat napped holding Billy close, wanting him to rest, hoping he was going to be okay. After some time Steve slipped out of bed long enough to make grilled cheese sandwiches and reheat what was left of the soup, the tea had turned bitter so he made a fresh pot. He wondered how Billy had gotten so far from Hawkins, if he’d been in the woods all along, how he’d lived through the nightmare that had been made flesh, had it first attacked his mind, then his body, like it had with Will? There was no way for Steve to know, unless Billy told him. Steve thought of Max’s grieving face when she thought no one was looking, how heartbroken she was, he wondered if she knew, if she had any idea.

*******

“Hey, it’s dinner time. You gotta eat, you’ve been through a lot.” Steve was thinking of both the blizzard and the Mind-Flayer, but didn’t think he should bring up either right now.

In the lamp light Billy’s hair looked almost rust colored, cropped short like so much mowed wheat, it had highlights of gold and bronze and was dark at the roots. Billy’s eyes cracked open glassy and still swimming with sleep.

“What time is it?” Billy asked squinting at Steve.

“I think it’s about nine,” Steve picked his watch up off the bedside table, “Yeah, nine-thirty. I just eat when I’m hungry, I don’t really have a fixed schedule, at least not when it’s snowing like this, although I think the worst of it is over.”

Steve cut both of the sandwiches in half and placed four buttered triangles steaming and oozing cheddar cheese on a plate. Billy watched and sat up slowly still in bed, his interest was clearly piqued by the scent of grilled cheese sandwiches. Steve smiled to himself feeling good about doing something to help Billy after all he’d been through.

“There’s soup too, but just eat what you want.” Steve said.

Steve sat beside Billy and held the plate flat in his palm watching Billy take up a sandwich half and bite into it like it was something holy, his eyes closed and the corners of his mouth coming up into something like a smile. Billy chewed and swallowed and bit again, his eyes still shut, breathing through his nose. Steve watched thinking he’d never seen anything so wonderful in his life as watching Billy ‘Fucking’ Hargrove enjoy a grilled cheese sandwich that Steve had made just for him. Billy ate his sandwich and half of Steve’s, but Steve didn’t mind at all, he was glad in fact, glad that Billy had an appetite and was getting color in his cheeks. Steve ate some soup and drank tea, and found himself feeling strangely content in their shared silence, something that Steve wasn’t expecting. For weeks he’d been dying to have someone to talk to, but this seemed so much better, just sharing a meal in comfortable silence.

When Billy seemed sated Steve handed him a hot cup of tea, which Billy took and sipped at, his blue eyes lighting on Steve’s for a moment, they seemed to glow from within, but it wasn’t a cold light, it was electric and it made Steve’s mind buzz, and his cheeks flush.

“You seem different.” Steve said and then wished he could snatch the words out of the air and put them back in his mouth.

“So do you.” Billy said after a moment, his luminous blue eyes looking sleepy and thoughtful.

“Your voice is getting stronger.” Steve said, not knowing what else to say, and feeling kind of foolish for breaking their silence.

Steve stood up, and stretched trying to appear casual, he walked over to the small set of drawers where he kept his clothes. He pulled off his shirt and his thermal beneath that, and plucked a fresh t-shirt from the top drawer and pulled it on, he slipped out of his wool trousers, boxers and socks and slipped on some fresh boxers and put some flannel pajama pants on over them, he glanced in the small shaving mirror that stood atop of the dresser near his washbasin and realized that Billy was watching him intently, Steve lowered his eyes quickly not wanting Billy to see that he’d been caught, not wanting Billy to look away.

“I’m, um, well I think, you know, we better turn in.” Steve rambled as he dampened the candles and extinguished the flame of the oil lamp. He grabbed the flash light that he kept by the bed and turned it on, he set its on its end and a glowing circular light shone on the ceiling.

“I think all I’ve done is sleep and eat since I got here.” Billy sounded worn out, his voice barely concealing a yawn.

“Here,” Steve handed Billy a clean white t-shirt and some some grey heavy sweat pants.

Billy took them and turned his body away and pulled on the t-shirt first, it looked loose on his back, Steve could see the peaks of Billy’s shoulder blades as Billy pulled the sweatpants on underneath the blankets.

“Here’s some socks too.” Steve said his voice gentle.

Billy took them and pulled them on one at a time before laying back looking fatigued from the effort of dressing in bed.

“You went through hell out there, in that weather.” Steve lifted the blankets and carefully crawled over Billy, Steve preferred sleeping near the wall, and it seemed as though Billy preferred the side nearest the bedside table, so he didn’t ask him to scoot over. “You should probably do more sleeping and eating tomorrow.”

“Do you think there will be sunlight tomorrow? I miss the sun.” Billy sounded petulant, his voice was getting less raspy but it was soft, he sounded like a wizened child to Steve.

“If the clouds break, I bet it might be a bright day, for at least a couple hours, all the sunbeams bouncing off the snow, it’ll be glowing.” Steve felt like he sounded absurd, but he wanted a glowing sunny winter day, if that’s what Billy wanted, he wanted it too, he wanted it desperately.

“You think so?” Billy moved closer to Steve, whispering softly, “I really want some sun. I don’t like the cold.”

“Well, I can at least promise that you’ll be warm tonight.” Steve drew a breath and felt a little braver now that they were in the near dark. He wrapped his arms around Billy, and pulled him into his chest, the way Steve would a girl if they were dating, being gentle, but also showing off his strength, he squeezed Billy and held him.

Steve could feel the tension gradually dropping from Billy with each breath. Billy’s brow rested against Steve’s shoulder near the crook of his neck, reminding Steve again of how long it had been since he’d held someone. Steve shifted a little, careful not to disturb Billy and pulled the blankets all they way up till they were just under Billy’s chin, if Billy wanted to be warm, Steve was going to make sure he was.

*******

Steve awoke with his cheek rested against Billy’s neck and his arms around Billy’s waist. At some point in the night Billy had turned his back to Steve and he was now the _little-spoon _to Steve’s _big-spoon_. Steve swallowed slowly, he was hard and had one leg threaded between Billy’s, it was the most intense spike of desire and shame Steve had ever felt.

He wasn’t embarrassed to be turned on by Billy,_ ‘Like who wouldn’t be?’ _Steve thought. What caused the shame, was that Steve feared Billy would be mad at him, and feel like he couldn’t trust Steve if he woke up with a Steve’s dick shoved up against his ass. Steve slowly shifted his hips back a bit, hoping the motion went undetected, it was difficult to move because Billy’s legs had one of Steve’s legs in a kind of scissor hold. Steve tried to pull his leg free slowly, the sliding warm pressure against his thigh caught between Billy’s just made everything worse, or better, Steve couldn’t decide.

“Eh, hey…” Steve whispered, not sure if he really wanted to wake Billy up or to try and escape first. Steve went to lift his arm off of Billy’s side only to have Billy shift back and then coil tightly in a ball, his arm folded over Steve’s, Billy’s legs locking tightly around Steve’s.

“Oh-boy.” Steve mumbled. He was now more securely wedged up against Billy than before. Steve screwed his eyes shut and tried to think of anything other than how incredibly hot it felt to be this close to Billy. Steve could smell the woodsmoke in Billy’s short hair, the salt on his skin. Steve released a soft low sound that he hadn’t realized was lurking in the back of his throat. It was as if a his desire had been given a voice. He felt his cheeks and chest burning, a flood of heat race down his core and a the muscles clenched deep in his guts, and lower still.

Steve very carefully removed his right arm out from under Billy and told himself he was fifty-percent free and that had to count for something. Steve heard Billy sigh, his breathing soft and steady, he seemed to still be asleep. Steve gave his right arm a little shake, it had gone numb buried on Billy’s weight. There was a light sensation of pin pricks ghosting up his fingers as circulation returned to normal. Steve reached between them and pressed his erection up against his own Belly, he clamped his lips shut, his eyes going a wide and then fluttering shut, he hadn’t really thought that through - just ‘restraining’ himself nearly pushed him over the edge. He puffed out a little breath of air accidentally blowing right into Billy’s ear.

Billy half sat up with a start and ran his hand over his ear, his other hand clutching briefly at the blankets. Steve simultaneously disentangled his limbs from Billy’s hold and drew up his knees turning away from Billy so quickly he nearly rolled right off the bed.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t didn’t mean to startle you.” Steve looked at the floor and the windows and the blankets and briefly at Billy before staring at the dwindling glow of burning embers in the stove.

“What time is it?” Billy’s voice came out in a breathy rasp, he reached over and rested a hand on Steve’s shoulder as if to confirm that he was real, Billy’s hand slid across Steve’s shoulders and briefly up the back of his neck and then dropped away.

“Early, maybe six. Go back to sleep.” Steve tried to sound calm, in his own ears he sounded squeaky and guilty.

Billy nodded, his eyes never fully having opened and laid back.

Steve started to get up, he thought he could jerk off in the bathroom as soon as Billy was asleep again. Steve turned off the flashlight, there was enough natural light pushing in through the ice frosted windows to see by. He turned back and pulled the blankets up over Billy. Steve was holding his breath, his fingers were trembling. Steve backed away from the bed, as if Billy were royalty and then went into the little toilet space, he pressed the waist of pajama pants down and with his free hand pulled the flimsy curtain that went around the toilet. He sat down and strained to hear Billy’s breathing. All Steve could hear was the sound of his own heart beating, he rolled his tongue in his mouth and worked up some spit and released it into his hand and started stroking, he was aching, he closed his eyes and thought of women, women in magazines, women with red painted lips, round high asses, imagined squeezing beautiful breasts, but his mind just threw flashes of BIlly’s mouth, Billy’s ass, Steve tried to think of Heather Locklear and Catherine Back, but it was no use, he was just getting frustrated. He imagined Billy bent over the bed, his ass high, Billy reaching back and spreading his cheeks, Billy groaning and begging for him, Billy putting his mouth on Steve’s cock. Steve stroked himself quickly, rolled his thumb over the tip, he lowered his head and opened his eyes long enough to dribble more spit on the head of his hard flushed red cock and stroked harder. He tilted his head back, his breath coming harder, his hips lifting lightly imagining pushing his cock into Billy, and came hard, spilling over his knuckles and coming onto the the curtain. Steve leaned back against the back of the wall behind the toilet seat, letting the relief and pleasure rush over him, he knew he’d been attracted to Billy since he’d first seen him, but it was different now, it didn’t seem as abstract before, it didn’t seem as impossible, and just that thought gave him another charge of desire.

“Oh _fuck_.” Steve whispered in a soft quavering breath. He held still for a moment, just listening to the silence in the tower and then wiped up the mess he’d made before sliding the curtain back. Steve peeked around the edge of the curtain, Billy’s back was to him, it was hard to tell if he was even breathing. Steve felt his heart jump in his throat, worried that Billy had died while Steve was jerking off, he stealthily moved across the wooden floor getting closer and closer to Billy staring hard, Billy stirred and then nestled into the blankets. Steve straightened up feeling the burgeoning panic subside.

Billy rolled over in the bed and realized Steve wasn’t there. He sat up feeling anxious, bleached sunlight coming in the windows, he squinted around the room, he’d never seen the inside of it tower room when there was so much daylight, the wood paneledwalls and redwood floorboards were a comforting sight, the cabin was cold, but it was far more comfortable than living in the woods. Steve was stirring a little pot, he was dressed and his lips were moving but he wasn’t speaking. Billy squinted at him, wondering what he was doing, Steve seemed lost in thought, he gestured at the air, like he was holding a conversation with a ghost.

“Who are you talking to?” Billy asked, his voice rasping.

“_Oh-jesus!_” Steve turned around, holding a wooden spoon up to his chest, “Oh, I was just, wow, you startled me. Um, I was just thinking. Not really talking to myself.” Steve’s cheeks went red.

Billy looked around the room and then back at the little pot on the stove.

“Are you hungry? I made oatmeal, with cinnamon and raisins, it’s not great, but I mean, it’s food. The sun’s out.” Steve gestured to the windows.

Billy looked at the wide glass planes, covered in frost and steam, glowing defused light, he squinted feeling his head ache.

“I want to go outside.” Billy stated looking around the room.

Billy wasn’t even sure if the place was real, maybe it was just a place he’d invented, a dream, he decided it was better than a nightmare. That would make Steve his dream boy, the thought made the corner of Billy’s mouth twitch, threatening a smile.

“Do you think you’re ready, I mean, those stairs are nuts, and it’s really cold, but if you want to, I mean of course we can go outside.” Steve turned back to the pot and started scooping out oatmeal into two tin cups. He placed two slices of bread on a cast-iron pan and then turned back to Billy, “I’ve got some warm clothes you can wear, and some extra boots.”

Billy got out of the bed and wobbled to the door, he clasped the knob, nearly tilting into the door, he twisted it and opened it quickly, stepping backward on loose legs like a sea drunk sailor on land for the first time. The light was blinding, the sky tilted and spun, he was sure he was going to fall off the edge of the world, and then he felt warm strong arms wrap around him.

“Too bright.” Billy managed to mutter as he leaned back against Steve’s chest.

“It’s crazy bright.” Steve assured Billy.

“It’s good, though.” Billy tilted his head back, he felt Steve’s face against his neck briefly, the stubble on Steve’s chin making Billy shiver, he felt Steve turn his head and rest his chin on Billy’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it is.” Steve replied.

They stood still, Billy cracked his eyes again looking out at the snow covered vista, tall trees glazed white with snow and shimmering ice crystals, a cold sun, but a sun none the less was floating above the tree line like a miracle.Billy rested his arms atop of Steve’s, not wanting him to let go.

“I missed the sun.” Billy said, feeling the warmth of Steve holding him.

Billy stood there till his eyes relaxed into a loose squint, he felt the pain in his head subsiding. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him. He thought about the boys he’d touched, the boys that had liked him the same way he’d liked them back in California. Stolen moments on the edge of the ocean, the edge of the world. Salty wind blowing off the waters of the Pacific Ocean, sunscreen flavored kisses, the rough rushed moments.

“I want to go…” Billy paused, realizing he was speaking aloud, he’d almost said home, but that wasn’t what he meant.

“We can go, as soon as the snow’s melted a bit, I’ll take you wherever you want to go, I promise.” Steve said quietly.

“There’s nowhere for me to go.” Billy mumbled.

“Then, we’ll stay here.”Steve said simply.

Billy felt his eyes grow dewy, the cold wind rushing over his face made him shut his eyes tightly.

“Cold.” Billy shivered and turned towards Steve.

“Why don’t we eat?” Steve offered.

Billy let Steve lead him back to the bed, sat down on the rough wool blanket and folded his arms tightly around himself. Steve grabbed the quilt from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around Billy’s shoulders.

“I’m going to stoke the fire,” Steve said as he wrapped his parka around Billy’s shoulders adding yet another layer, and then put the hood up on Billy’s head framing his face in a halo of furry fluff. Steve placed the cup of oatmeal in Billy’s hands and watched as Billy grasped the little spoon and stirred a little before putting a spoonful in his mouth.

The radio crackled to life startling them both.

“Ranger Harrington, this is Little-Owl, do you copy?” The voice ghosted across the small watchtower room.

Steve went over and grabbed the radio, “Hey, hey, Paul, uh, Ranger Little Owl, this is Ranger Harrington, over.”

“Good to hear your voice kid. Listen, I was just checking on you, how are you fairing out there, should I send a chopper?” Paul’s voice faded in and out, a mix of humor and genuine concern, “Your mom’s worried about you and there was a kid radioing in from the Hawkins’ P.D. Over.”

“Uh, copy that. I’m fine, just uh, fine. Sorry about Henderson. I’m, uh good. Got food, and firewood. Um, over.” Steve paced a bit, feeling like he’d been caught doing something naughty, of course there was no way Paul would ever know that Billy was there with him, but he was also suddenly worried that Paul might come to the tower to rescue him and wonder why Steve had company, there was no way he could explain that he’d rescued his old high school rival from the snow storm and not radioed it it sooner without repercussions.

“Well good news, the storm has passed, hold off on any surveillance hikes, just stay put. I’ll be sure to let your friends and family know that you’re doing alright. Check back in, make sure you do, in 48 hours. Over.”

“Absolutely, uh, over and out.” Steve set down the mic and waited a moment.

“Copy that, over and out, stay warm.” Paul’s voice sounded easier, like his worries had been assuaged.

“Little Owl?” Billy asked after a long silence.

“Yeah, that’s his last name.” Steve nodded.

“Does that make you Ranger Rick, or Rocky Raccoon?” Billy snarked.

“Dick.” Steve blurted, he paused feeling bad for a beat, until he realized Billy was laughing softly.

“You’re such a dork Harrington, how the hell did you ever get laid?” Billy rasped before breaking into another rough laugh that melted into a deep cough.

‘Let’s eat.” Steve grabbed his cup of oatmeal feeling lighter, a small smile playing on his lips.

The pair of them ate, it wasn’t much of a meal, slightly burnt toast and clumpy oatmeal, but it was enough to sate Billy and make him feel sleepy from having a full stomach. Steve watched Billy move from the edge of the bed as if he were going to try and go outside again, but instead Billy set down his empty cup and laid back in the bed.Steve crammed more wood into the little stove and busied himself tidying around the tower, he could feel Billy’s eyes tracking his movements.

“You okay?” Steve asked quietly setting the washed cups in the cupboard.

“I’m cold.” Billy muttered, curling tightly under the blankets.

Steve turned to face him, he watched Billy coiling up disappearing under the heavy blankets, he looked small.

“I could, um, come and…” Steve walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots then rolled over on his side facing Billy.

Billy watched him mutely, then lifted the edge of the blankets so Steve could get under them with Billy.

Steve moved closer and pulled Billy in his arms and felt Billy embrace him in return. Steve didn’t mean to fall asleep, but then again he was exhausted too. They slept the day away, rising reluctantly to raid the pantry, Steve occasionally getting up to feed the stove more wood and twigs, keeping the flame alive.

Neither of them wanted to let go of the other, so they lingered and lazed in bed, Billy feigning being cold if Steve got out of the bed, and Steve pretending to be sleepier than he really was after the initial nap.

**Night Terrors**

When Billy awoke the sky wasn’t any longer full dark, nor really tinged with dawn, it was that unnamable hour, somewhere between the color of a dark plum and navy blue. The windows were fogged, small silvery droplets of condensation were cascading down the interiors of the windows. Billy’s heart was pounding in his chest, his breath coming so hard and fast it looked like the walls were breathing. He’d had _that_ dream again, or maybe just relived it all again, like he always did, night after night. That monster, that demonic beast of flesh and rot, grabbing him and dragging him down stairs, the fowl smell of it when it masked his face, and even worse the taste, vile, as acrid as old rotting meat, that cloying stink of putrid flesh, of rusted metal, a chlorine and death without relief.

“Billy, you’re choking me.” Steve wheezed, his voice was calm, barely above a whisper. Billy felt Steve’s hands gripping his wrists tightly. Billy looked towards the sound of Steve’s voice, he realized he had his hands wrapped around Steve’s throat. Billy released him immediately, jerking back as if if burned, Steve’s hands held tight to Billy’s wrists. Steve coughed sharply and then pulled Billy towards him.

“You were dreaming, you were dreaming.” Steve soothed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t…” Billy tried to pull away, he wanted to run out into the woods and go far away, far away from everyone, to go somewhere he’d never hurt anyone again.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Steve reeled Billy into his arms, he ran his head over Billy’s short hair, “I’ve got you, it was just a dream, just a bad dream.” Steve murmured.

“I’m sorry.” Billy’s voice came out broken and weak.

“It was a night terror, sometimes I have them too.” Steve spoke softly, “The sun’s coming back, you know, soon… this time, we’ll go outside. We’ll go down and check things out for a bit, if you want.”

“Please.” Billy said, thankful that it was still dark, thankful that Steve couldn’t see the tears that were spilling out.

“Of course, it’ll be good.” Steve squeezed Billy, he could feel Billy’s heart racing, just like his own.

Steve kept his word, when the sun came up he boiled eggs and grabbed some jerky and hard biscuits, he filled his thermos full of hot black coffee for both of them and lent Billy his warmest clothes before they slowly made their way down the stairs, the wind was soft but bracing cold, it stung their lungs and eyes, both lost in thought feeling breathless and alive as they ventured outside for the first time in days. Neither of them said anything about Billy’s night terror. Steve had glanced in his shaving mirror, his neck was red, but he didn’t think it would blush.

**Outside In and Inside Out**

Steve jumped down into the snow, skipping the last three steps, it was as high as his hip, he turned back watching Billy move slowly down.

“There’s a little mound over there, about twenty-five feet away, not far, but it’s got a ring of trees, I bet there’s less snow there, and a while back I built a fire ring with some rocks, we can try and dig it out. Steve adjusted his heavy backpack, it was loaded with their snacks and some tinder and a starter log, he didn’t think they’d be outside long, maybe an hour and a half, but he wanted Billy to get some of the sunshine while it lasted. Steve watched Billy staring off to where Steve had pointed, he walked a few steps cutting through the snow and then looked back at Steve.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, wondering if it was too much for Billy.

“Yeah…” Billy nodded, and moved plowed steadily forward.

The snow was soft and crumbling, not giving too much resistance as they made their way to the ring of trees. The snow was far less dense there, the trees had sheltered the center circle. Steve dropped his heavy pack and used a bit of wood to swipe at the snow, digging where he knew the stone ring was.

“Did you really put logs in your backpack?” Billy cleared his throat, he watched Steve digging determinedly, his cheeks exposed and flushed, his brow knit in thought.

“What? No, I just brought some tinder and a starter log, they’re not as dense as real wood, and I thought it’d be nice. Some sunlight and a little extra heat, get out of the tower,” Steve felt himself babbling, “I mean, we can go back up whenever you want, I just, you know a change of scenery.” Steve stepped back after finding the center and kicked lightly into a the low snow drift until he felt something solid. “Aha, here’s the bench, well it’s not really a bench, more of a log, but it’s better than sitting on the ground or standing around in the snow.” Steve kicked the snow off the top of it as he spoke.

Billy started kicking the snow off with him, they worked silently. Steve stopped when he’d cleared off the last of it and that’s when he felt a little clump of snow hit him in the face.

“What was that for?” Steve asked, only to receive a second missile of snow to the front of his forehead.

“Hey!” Steve laughed.

Billy smirked softly clapping snow off his gloves. “I had to do it Harrington, I’ve never had a chance to before.” Billy sat down slowly on the log and then stood up, looking down at it with a frown.

“Hold on,” Steve reached into his stuffed pack and pulled out a thick dingy looking blanket, he kept it folded and set it over the log, it covered a wide enough area for both of them if they sat shoulder to shoulder. “There you go, and I owe you two snowballs to the face, dickhead.”

Steve watched Billy’s mouth twitch up in the corner as he sat down, his eyes were brighter today, although Steve didn’t know how that was possible, Steve’s mother had these earrings with blue topaz gems in them, that’s what Billy’s eyes looked like in bright white sunlight bouncing off the snow.

Steve went about laying out the tinder in careful layers, he’d cleared the ground pretty well set about lighting a fire, once he got the starter log lit he sat down next to Billy and set his backpack on his feet and dug inside of it.

Billy sat silently watching Steve divvy up the food, eggs, biscuits, jerky and little boxes of raisins, Steve poured warm black coffee into the now familiar tin cups and handed one to Billy carefully. Billy took it and sipped watching the spotty sunlight turn Steve’s brown eyes bronze when he looked up.

Billy couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something like this for him, he thought about picnics on the beach with his mom, how she would lay out the blanket, give him his sandwich and juice box, maybe cookies or chips too. Billy smirked a little, thinking about it, but the small budding smile wilted on his lips. Harrington was kind, he didn’t seem to hate Billy in spite of all the horrible things that he’d done to him. Steve wasn’t calling him a monster, didn’t tell that park ranger that radioed in that he was there, Steve was sheltering him, feeding him, shielding him from the authorities. Treating him like a friend. _This is what friends do_, Billy thought.

They ate in silence, the fire was low and warm on Billy’s shins, the tall trees occasionally dripped with frost melt and the little droplets hissed in the fire, one or two landed on Billy’s head, but the beanie Steve had given him kept him dry. Billy felt like he was breathing, really breathing for the first time since he’d been dragged down the steps of the steel mill.

“Is it really gone?” Billy asked.

“What?” Steve asked softly, “You mean the Mind-Flayer?”

“What’s the Mind-Flayer? Is that what everyone called it, that thing? I think that’s what you called it before…” Billy dug the heels of his borrowed boots into the icy soil and chewed his lip.

“Uh, that’s what El and them called it, um, Max’s friends.” Steve looked at Billy, “What did you call it?”

“It didn’t have a name, not like in words, but I guess Mind-Flayer works, but it sounds fucking stupid.” Billy said, as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself, and stared into the fire.

Steve didn’t know what to say, but he felt like Billy might want to talk, so he needed to say something.

“It’s gone. You helped El defeat it. You saved her, you saved everyone. We all thought you were dead. Max’s parents said you were dead.”

“I helped it kill a lot of people too.” Said Billy, his voice flat, eyes shining.

“You didn’t help, you were forced, you had no control.” Steve spoke with conviction, wanting Billy to agree with him.

“I never have control…” Billy turned his empty coffee cup in his gloved hands. “I used to just be angry all the time, you know, it feels better than being any other way, like, that was my choice, and it felt…” Billy laughed a small choking grunt, “It felt like it was a strength, or like armor, but now I just feel like a peeled turtle.” Billy ran the back of his glove under his nose, “What the fuck am I even saying?”

“We’re just talking… say whatever you want.” Steve poured the last of the coffee into Billy’s cup and put the cap on the empty thermos, keeping his hands busy, he felt nervous, like he was letting Billy down some how, making him feel worse instead of better.

“My father came to the hospital, did you know that?” Billy looked up at he frosted tree boughs and exhaled a cloud of air, “I wish I had a cigarette.”

“Oh!’ Steve exclaimed he leaned over his pack and started digging in the pockets.

Billy leaned forward watching him dig around clumsily with his gloved hands.

“Here, um, here!” Steve sat back looking triumphant a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

Billy leaned over and took the pack, he bit the finger tip of the glove covering his left hand and Steve watched as Billy slid his hand out, it gave Steve a ridiculous thrill, it was a strange little strip-tease like gesture, but something about Billy, just made it phenomenally sexy.

Billy put the cigarette in his lips and was momentarily blinded when Steve’s zippo popped open, it’s dancing flame a few inches from the tip of his cigarette, Billy leaned in and inhaled, he wasn’t sure when the last time was thathe’d had a cigarette, he couldn’t be exactly sure how long it had been, or how long he’d been sleeping in the tower with Steve. Billy was struck that he didn’t mind that, most of the time he was frustrated when he lost count of days, but days lost in Steve’s company seemed to be alright.

“When your dad went to the hospital, what happened?” Steve plucked out a cigarette for himself, he rarely smoked these days, Robin was on him like a hawk about it.

“He pretended I wasn’t his son and left.” Billy snorted.

“Asshole.” Steve shook his head in disbelief.

“I think he did me a favor.” Billy turned the cigarette in his fingers, “I was a John Doe. The first time they asked me my name, I couldn’t speak, I was too weak, or drugged, the second time they asked, I just decided to say, I don’t know.” Billy sighed out a plume of smoke, he vanished momentarily behind it, his mouth quirked in a thoughtful expression, his eyes meeting Steve’s.

“How long have you been in the woods?” Steve whispered, worried he might break the spell, because that’s what it felt like, sitting with Billy on the little mound, surrounded by trees and snow and ice, the small fire crackling at their feet, the snowmelt tapping on their shoulders and making pipping sounds when it bounced off their boots, the branches crackling faintly and the sun streaking in and shifting with the breeze, it just all felt magical.

“Months? I don’t know, as soon as I could I ran away and I ended up here.” Billy shifted closer to Steve, he was a little cold, but he didn’t want to go back up to the tower, not yet.

“I guess it was just luck, I mean that you and I were here at the same time. I mean, otherwise, I might never have known you’re alive.” Steve reached over and squeezed Billy’s shoulder, he rested his hand there for a moment and then gently pat Billy’s back before letting it drop.

Billy looked at Steve, really looked at him. He was just as pretty as he remembered him, maybe even more than pretty, maybe beautiful… for a dude. He’d always kind of written of Steve as dweeb that just happened to be good looking, rich and okay at sports, like the kind of dumb-luck-dip-shit that just kind of stumbles into popularity, a big-dumb-fish in a shit-hole-small-town-pond. Yet they were sitting side by side in the middle of nowhere, and Steve was being sweet, and it wasn’t like he was doing it to show off to anyone, to prove that he was the better person, and maybe Steve wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he had drive, he was trying to become a forest ranger. It wasn’t exactly cool, far from it, but good, it was a good job for a good kind of guy like him, Billy was kind of impressed, but more so just so overwhelmed by his unexpected kindness.

“You’re a trip Harrington, you’re a son of fortune, and a fool, like a two-for one fire sale.” Billy paused, and then cackled, it was loud, and the sound of it traveled up through the trees.

Steve parted his mouth and then paused mid breath before saying, “I think I’m being insulted.”

Billy laughed even louder and nearly tilted off the side of the log.

“But I don’t give a shit. Also, for the record, you sound like a hardcore nerd, like a real geek Hargrove, trust me I know a lot of them.” Steve smiled watching Billy settle himself back on the log and hold his sides for a moment, his smile faltering and then spreading wider.

“That kind of hurt.” Said Billy.

“What, your feelings?” Steve asked a little anxiously.

“No, dummy, my ribs, and my face.” Billy looked at Steve and smiled, he’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly in his life.

They sat out until the fire died, both of them cold, but reluctant to go back up the endless flights of stairs.

“C’mon, you’re shivering.” Steve stood up, and threw his backpack on, it was much lighter now that they’d fed themselves and the fire.

Billy stood up silently and they trudged back along the path they’d made on their way out.

**Is it Hot in Here?**

When they got back to the top of the fire tower and safely inside Steve could tell that Billy was dead on his feet, his cheeks had color but his normally heavy lidded eyes looked near to shutting. Steve shrugged off his jacket and set to getting the room more comfortable. Billy paced a bit while Steve went about feeding the stove and digging around in the icebox for food. Steve kept stealing glances, he realized that Billy was swaying on his feet, the stairs and the cold had taken a lot out of him.

“Hey, why don’t you sit down, right over here.” Steve gently grasped Billy’s wrists and steered him to the bed.

“I’m not tired.” Billy protested.

“Okay.” Steve said as Billy sat down heavily on the bed.

Billy shut his eyes, feeling dizzy, when he opened them Steve had vanished, and then he glanced down and saw that Steve was knelt before him, Billy’s heart leapt, he rested his hands on either side of himself gripping the wool blankets.

“Gotta get these off.” Steve said.

Billy unzipped the parka he’d borrowed from Steve and popped open the buttons the metal snaps, feeling panicked, and turned on, he’d not felt anything close to that in what felt like a life time and then he realized that Steve was working on the laces of the boots Billy was wearing. Billy let out an exhausted laugh, he’d thought Steve was going to blow him. He laid back and laughed silently into his palms.

“Are you okay?” Steve knelt on the bed beside him.

Billy took down his palms and smiled weakly, “Yeah, just, I uh. Tired.”

“I can tell.” Steve nodded before going back to work on Billy’s boots. Steve pulled Billy into an upright position and helped him finish removing the parka, and the heavy sweater under that.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked softly, leaning across Billy to pull the blankets back.

“Alive.” Billy said softly.

Steve looked at him curiously, but didn’t press for details.

Billy cat napped while Steve prepared their dinner. Steve gently shook Billy awake when everything was ready, it was canned soup again, and saltine crackers with slices of cheddar, and hot herbal tea to drink. As Billy ate in silence with Steve, he was certain it was the best meal he’d ever had.

After dinner Steve had a brief radio check in with Ranger Little-Owl. Billy laid back and wrapped himself in the quilt not really paying attention to the conversation, he was just wishing Steve would come lay down beside him.

“Are you cold?” Steve looked over his shoulder, he’d just concluded his radio conversation.

“Yeah.” Billy lied, he was actually very comfortable, but he wanted Steve to come join him.

“Well, the stove’s packed, um,” Steve trailed off, mid sentence and started unbuttoning his shirt and stepped over to the little standing wardrobe. Billy watched Steve change into his thermal pants and shirt through his lashes, playing innocent while he enjoyed the view.

Steve brushed his teeth and checked the thermometer, it was cold, but not as cold as it had been now that the snowstorm had passed and the winds had diminished. He felt strange getting ready for bed, he should be feeling calm, but instead he was feeling giddy at the thought of getting to lay down beside Billy again.

Billy opened his eyes fully when he felt Steve get in beside him. He could smell the minty scent of toothpaste on Steve’s breath. Billy held still while Steve crawled over him to be on the side by the wall.

“It was really nice, um, going outside. I hope it didn’t wear you out.” Steve spoke softly, as he leaned over to the bedside table and turned off the little lamp.

“When did the power come back?” Billy hadn’t even realized that the electric lamp had been running.

“Since the day we got the radio message from Paul?” Steve chuckled.

Billy rolled his eyes and then blinked looking about the room, he’d expected it to go full dark, but the windows were glowing blue, the heavy snow clouds had cleared, and although the windows were fogged on the inside and frosted on the outside the moon was illuminating the tower room.

“Beautiful.” Billy murmured, and meant it.

“What?” Steve asked sliding under the blankets beside him.

“Nothing.” Billy replied, he knew Steve wouldn’t make fun of him, but he felt like a child just saying the first word that came to his mind, being dazzled by something as simple as the moon at night; Billy wasn’t used to saying whatever he thought of aloud without immediate persecution, saying things like that got him teased mercilessly by his father when he was a little boy. Billy had muted that part of himself, but with Steve, with Steve it was easy to just - _speak_.

Steve tugged the blankets over them both, the bed was narrow, but they fit just fine, he had to admit that he was glad it was small, glad that Billy had arrived to keep him company, although the circumstances of his arrival had been strange and dangerous to say the least. If Steve thought about how relieved he was to know that Billy was alive for too long his throat went tight with emotion. Steve laid there, his eyes tracing the nearly invisible beams of the ceiling thinking about the fight, the hard looks, Billy always getting in his face, thinking about the way Billy had been so controlling of Max, now he wondered if it was his way of protecting her, or protecting them both from their father. There’d been the other moments too, the lingering looks in the shower, how Billy always chose a desk near Steve’s, sure they were sometimes assigned to be in the same row because their names were alphabetically close, but even when Billy could have sat somewhere else, he made other people move with a look, or just by dropping his bag on their desk, instead of sitting in the back, or by the windows, Billy _always_ sat right next to Steve. On the two field trips of Steve and Billy’s senior year - when it had been a free for all on the buses, Billy plopped down right next to Steve, and the one time Steve tried to ignore him, Billy had slapped the top of Steve’s thigh, reflexively Steve had rested his hand on Billy’s and given him a dirty look, and Billy had blushed, his cheeks had gone a deep pink as if he were sun burned. Steve had stared at Billy, not understanding at all what that meant, and then Billy had dropped his eyes and pulled his hand away. Steve had started to say, something, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say, but then Tommy had popped up and started yapping away at Billy, vying for his attention.

“Do you ever wonder if…” Steve stopped himself, he turned on his side to see if Billy was awake.

Billy had his face turned towards Steve’s, in the low light it was impossible to tell if his eyes were open.

“Hmm?” The sound Billy made was both a question and a prompt, encouraging Steve to go on.

“If we could have been friends?” Steve asked, that wasn’t wha he was going to ask but it’s what came out.

“_Friends_?”

Steve thought Billy sounded annoyed.

“Uh, you know, like, we just got started on the wrong foot…” Steve spoke softly, wishing he hand’t opened his mouth. He rolled over on his back and shut his eyes, Billy remained silent much to Steve’s dismay. Steve tried to will himself asleep but it wasn’t working. He started worrying about how it was almost March, before he’d been counting down the days, rethinking being a Park Ranger and sick of being alone, but now that Billy was there, he didn’t want to go back to Hawkins, what would happen to Billy? His father had abandoned him. Steve curled on his side, the more he thought about going home the worse he felt, they still had time, but that time would pass. Billy didn’t have a home to go to, unless Steve pulled some strings, he started scheming, he knew could help, he just had to figure out how.

“I don’t want to talk about the past.” Billy said.

Steve’s body jumped involuntarily, he’d thought Billy had fallen asleep. His mind fuzzed, his train of thought derailed.

“Did I scare you, Harrington?” Billy’s voice sounded like a soft growl.

“No. I just, I thought you’d gone to sleep.” Steve could feel himself blushing in the dark, he ran a hand over his face feeling ridiculous.

“Why do people say that?” Billy shifted closer as he spoke.

“Say what?” Steve asked keeping his vice low.

“Gone, gone to sleep, like we go somewhere.” Said Billy.

Billy’s voice was so low and purring, so deep it gave Steve the strangest feeling, like he was doing something dirty just by listening so intently.

“I mean, we, we go to dreamland, when you go to sleep you go to dreamland, that’s what my grandfather told me.” Steve turned on his back, “so it has to be true,” Steve smiled in the dark his face turned towards Billy’s.

“Maybe… I don’t want to go just yet though. I like it here.” Billy said.

“You, you don’t have to go to sleep, if you don’t want to, we could talk, or whatever…” Steve shifted, barely able to keep himself from reaching for Billy in the dark.

Steve could feel Billy turn on the bed, his motions being telegraphed by the mattress, then he felt Billy’s forehead light on his. They laid still, temple to temple, breathing in each other’s breath.

Billy reached up not sure what Steve would do, but he refused to let fear control him, he rested his hand on the side of Steve’s neck, brushed his thumb along Steve’s jaw. He could feel Steve’s pulse quicken, the rhythmic thrumming being telegraphed through the thin skin of his throat. Billy brushed his nose over Steve’s, felt Steve’s soft full lips brush against his own.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked breathlessly.

“What I want.” Billy said moving closer.

“Maybe you’re not that different, from, before…” Steve mumbled feeling Billy’s fingers pulling at the collar of his thermal shirt drawing him closer.

“Maybe.” Billy echoed and then pressed his lip against Steve’s, they were dry and warm. Billy felt Steve’s mouth open slowly, his head tipping sideways. Billy started to shake, he’d not kissed anyone in months, he’d not kissed a boy in over a year, let alone ever kissed Steve Harrington. Billy tilted his head down from the kiss and pulled harder on Steve’s collar, a few threads snapped and Steve rested his hands on Billy’s.

“I’m right here, I’m right here.” Steve said releasing Billy’s. Hands and wrapping his arms around Billy.

Billy crushed his mouth into Steve’s, afraid that he was going to change his mind, that he wasn’t going to get another chance to kiss Steve after tonight. He heard Steve release a squeak into the kiss before returning the kiss with equal intensity but far more finesse. Billy parted his lips and darted his tongue in, he was overthinking it, he tucked his chin and pulled away from the kiss, but Steve leaned forward chasing his mouth, Billy leaned back further but Steve rolled on top of him and kissed him again, his hands racing up Billy’s back, squeezing his shoulder blades, and then his shoulders, his palms gently stroking up the sides of his neck, Billy moaned into the kiss as Steve hitched his hips up, grinding down against Billy’s. Steve’s hands stroked over Billy’s head, his finger tips raking lightly through Billy’s short cropped hair. Billy grabbed onto Steve’s hips and pulled him closer, he could feel Steve’s cock through the fabric of his thermal pants. Billy moaned again, he felt like his heart my burst it was beating so hard and fast. Billy pulled up at the sides of Steve’s shirt.

Steve sat up, straddling Billy’s hips, and pulled off his shirt, felt Steve’s hands pulling at his pajama shirt, he rested his hands on Steve’s and felt him freeze.

“I, I want, can I, just let me…” Steve babbled, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Billy’s shirt.

Billy swallowed hard, and released Steve’s hands, he lifted his arms slowly, he was still trembling, but not shaking as hard as before, he was grateful for the dark, even though he knew Steve could feel him vibrating.

Steve pulled up the shirt, sliding it roughly up Billy’s sides, and over his head, Steve’s hands landed on Billy’s chest making Billy catch his breath.Steve ran his fingers tenderly over the Braille of Billy’s scars, tracing the shapes, reading the healed skin the scars composing a sacred text, Steve’s palms went flat and his thumbs pressed over Billy’s nipples, rubbing them with slow strokes till they became hard.

Billy’s breath was coming hard and fast, he lifted his hips and arched his back, he twisted hungry for friction, hungry for contact. Steve leaned forward and shifted back, his mouth wet and hot closed over Billy’s left nipple, sucking and nipping, and then his tongue wetly traced across Billy’s chest, over his scars and circled the opposite nipple.

Billy pressed his head back into the pillow, and groaned loudly. He shivered and arched, he felt nervous, but knew he didn’t need to be quiet, there was no one to hear them, no one to hear him but Steve. Billy dug his fingers into Steve’s thick hair, he gripped and pulled.

Steve scooted up and kissed Billy’sthroat and bit his jaw, a low moan escaped Billy’s lips and Steve responded by biting again, biting a little harder.

“Billy.” Steve whispered, his tongue sliding tracing the contour of Billy’s ear, “Billy, I want’ you, so bad, so bad.” Steve rolled his hips, rutting against Billy. Steve’s hands were on Billy’s hips, pulling down roughly on the waist of his pajama pants, Billy writhed beneath Steve excitedly.

Steve threw the blankets back and knelt with one knee between Billy’s thighs and pulled down Billy’s pants and boxers. Steve reached down blindly till his hand was wrapped around Billy’s hard cock, he squeezed and stroked. He’d never touched another boy, he’d thought about it, but doing it was so much more, and touching Billy was everything he’d ever wanted. Steve lifted his hand to his mouth and licked and spat in his palm, he could feel Billy moving beneath him, touching himself. Steve gripped his own cock and moaned, squeezing and stroking.

“I want to see you.” Billy said.

Steve reached over to the lamp, he nearly knocked it over turning it on. Steve squinted, the dim bulb was momentarily blinding. He looked down at Billy, his eyes adjusting to the light. Billy was thinner, and his skin white and pink, his nipples dark from tip to areola. Steve traced his fingers over Billy’s scars, mesmerized by the patterns, he could feel Billy twist beneath him, and Steve leaned over and kissed him quickly.

“You’re so, so fucking hot, you’ve always been so god damned hot, Billy you make me crazy.” Steve kissed Billy’s lips and jaw and throat as he spoke breathlessly, “I want you so bad.”

Billy looked up at Steve, his lips were swollen from kissing, his cheek’s flushed, his hair swept wildly, his eyes bright and damp, Billy had never wanted Steve more. Billy stroked himself, locking eyes with Steve. They watched each other, their mouths parted, eyes turning glossy.

Billy reached over and gripped Steve’s ribs and pulled him closer till their bodies were flush and their lips met, as they kissed Billy reached between them and grabbed hold of Steve’s cock and guided it between his thighs and clenched around it, he squirmed with pleasure feeling Steve rock.

“Oh, yes, yes…” Steve gasped parting from the kiss and rubbed and thrust between Billy’s thighs. Billy grasped his own cock and stroked himself against Steve’s belly.

“Steve.” Billy said his voice catching thickly, he wrapped one arm around Steve’s neck and drew him close.

They grasped and grappled falling into rhythm.

Steve turned his head seeking Billy’s mouth with his own, letting their noses bump lightly, brushing his jaw against Billy’s. Steve felt Billy’s lashes flutter against the crest of his cheek. He felt Billy’s strong fingers tangle in his hair, his cock sliding against his belly.

They fell into a wordless rhythm, pulling and rutting and pushing into one another. When Steve came it was Billy that let out a shuddering groan, feeling the damp pooling heat spreading between his thighs, dribbling along the cleft of his ass. Billy lost himself in the moment and released up Steve’s belly.

They were still for sometime, both of melting into each other, the tension released, their bodies heavy and boneless. Steve reached between them and fondled Billy’s softening sticky cock with gently touches. He pressed his lips against Billy’s lips and whispered softly.

“Was that, are you, did you like that, I mean, was it… was it good?” Steve kissed Billy’s neck and sucked lightly.

“Mm.” Billy nodded.

“I…” Steve turned pulling Billy on top, “I, I’m just, holy shit.” Steve hugged Billy tightly.

Billy sighed, his body felt so heavy and his head light enough to float away, his limbs loose and liquid, and yet he felt like himself, he felt high, he felt alive and drunk, and exhausted and electrified.

“Holy shit.” Billy echoed.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded cuddling toBilly.

**April Showers**

**Back to Hawkins**

Billy sank into the passenger seat of Steve’s BMW, he’d never been inside one before, it felt just as nice as it had looked. Billy squinted out the windshield. Steve was standing off to the side of the road talking with Paul, the ranger that was also Steve’s boss and mentor. The two of them were laughingand chatting with ease, like old friends. Billy squinted at the rain that was dotting the windshield, it wasn’t much, but it was coming down quicker and quicker.

The last five weeks had flown by, Billy had spent most if his time sleeping and eating. Sometimes the pair of them would go down the tower stairs and go on short hikes, but as much as Billy hated to admit it, he wasn’t as strong as he used to be. Steve said Billy just needed food and rest, and then he’d be back to normal, but Billy didn’t believe he’d ever be anything like normal again, he’d felt weak for so long, he hated it, it was hard to imagine he’d ever feel strong again.

They’d barely managed to make Steve’s food last, but Steve had shared generously, and Billy even suspected that Steve had given Billy more than half of the food.

Billy heard the driver’s side door unlock and he turned his head to watch Steve slide into the driver’s seat, he was in his full uniform and had to duck to accommodate the top of his ranger’s hat. Steve slammed the door and tipped the hat off of his head and threw it in the back seat.

“He seems alright.” Billy said softly.

“Yeah, he’s a good guy.” Steve smiled looking over at Billy.

“He’s not mad?” Billy asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care.

“No, no way. I just told him that you and I went to high school together and that I didn’t report you because you’re my friend. I mean, I broke the rules, you know, he made sure I knew that, but like, I mean, it’s cool… I don’t think I want to be a park ranger.” Steve started the engine.

“Did he fire you?” Billy frowned looking over at Steve.

“No, no. He’s not like that. He just told me I wasn’t really good at following the rules, but that I had good judgement, because I helped you out and talked you out of living in the woods. I mean, you were squatting in a state park and stealing food, so like, you know, I got you on the straight and narrow.” Steve chuckled pulling onto the main road.

Billy watched as the windshield wipers switched on and stroked back and forth across the windshield.

“So you didn’t tell him we’ve been fooling around in the cabin for the last month?” Billy teased.

“No, god no, I think he was just glad I did the full ninety days.” Steve laughed.

Billy leaned back into his seat, he was wearing Steve’s parka, he dug into a pocket and fished out the last crumpled cigarette and lit it.

“Why don’t you want to be a park ranger anymore?” Billy asked as he rolled down the window letting in a gust of cool fresh damp air and exhaling a plume of smoke out the window.

“Well, I mean maybe, it’s just, the classes are really hard and you spend all your time in national parks, which is fine, but, I just don’t know anymore.” Steve reached over and stole the cigarette from BIlly’s fingers and took a drag.

“I should have gotten some coffee for the thermos.” Steve handed the cigarette back to Billy.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Billy said before taking a drag.

“Do what?” Steve glanced over and then looked back at the road.

“Go back.” Billy said flatly, “Fucking, Neil, Susan, Max, Max has gotta hate me… I deserve it.”

“Bullshit. Max misses you, she loves you. And you’re not going back, not to how things were before. You’re going to stay with me.” Steve reached over and rested his hand on Billy’s thigh.

“You’re parents are going to be cool with me living in their house? Come on Steve, there’s no fucking way.”

I’m going to make this work, trust me.” Steve squeezed Billy’s thigh.

“Right Harrington, you’re the one born with a silver spoon in his mouth, I’m just, just fucking trash blown in from the west coast man, fuck.” Billy shook his head and sniffled, and cleared his throat. “My mom abandoned me,my dad disowned me and I helped wipe out a quarter of Hawkins’ population, you think that town’s gonna greet me with open arms?” Billy folded his arms around himself tightly.

“No one blames you Billy, no one even knows about the Mind-Flayers.”

“God that name is so stupid.” Billy snapped.

“Forget the name, just trust me. No one blames you, no one even understands what happened, not about the monster, not about the Russians. It’s going to work out. I’ve got this, I’ve got _you_.” Steve slowed the car to a stop and threw it in park in the middle of the road. He leaned over and grasped Billy’s shoulders pulling him forward and kissed him Billy was tense for a moment, but quickly gave into the kiss, and several more after that.

Steve reached up and ran his fingers over Billy’s head, his hair was starting to grow into little curlycues, it almost made Billy look like a cherub, but then it was Billy, so not quite.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked.

Billy nodded, but his brow was furrowed, he looked lost in thought.

“What Russians?” Billy asked.

The rest of the drive back to Hawkins Steve held onto Billy’s hand and told him all about the Russians, and how Robin became his best friend. Billy ran his thumb over Steve’s knuckles, he believed it, he believed him about the Russian Base, under nowheresville Hawkins, and he asked questions about El, and Max. He could tell Steve was really sad that the chief of police hadn’t made it, the only thing Billy didn’t believe was that Steve had managed to knock out a Russian soldier in a fight. 

**Life after Death**

Billy had been ‘living’ in Steve’s basement for nearly a month and a half, and it wasn’t so bad. He had access to good food, Steve’s parents were almost never there and Steve was done with becoming a park ranger, at lest for now, which was great as far as Billy was concerned, he didn’t like to think about it too much, but he just felt better when Steve was around. Steve had been covering Billy’s rent, $40 a week for room and board, it had been an agreement between Steve and his dad, and Steve had done all the negotiating. Billy felt weird, having someone in his corner was a new experience, and he had no idea how he’d manage $120 bucks a month, but he didn’t want to go home.

“You are home,” Steve said, with his hands on his hips, Billy realized that Steve had gotten that pose from his mother, he’d seen her do that when she was talking to Mr Harrington outside and they thought they weren’t being observed.

Billy shook his head, searching for words but when he opened his mouth to speak Steve cut him off.

“This is your home now.” Steve pointed at himself.

Billy had laughed at him, but turned away because he was getting choked up.Billy kind of loved it when Steve tried to be assertive, he wasn’t very convincing, but he had a lot of heart, and as corny as he could be, it wasn’t all bad, the tenderness, the attention. A part of Billy kept waiting for Steve to get bored with him, but it never happened.

Billy had a twin bed, a little rug had been thrown over the concrete floor, it was patterned with cranes and fans, there was a white and pink accented dresser for him to put his clothes in, most likely a cast off from Mrs Harrington’s closet. Steve had set up a card table so Billy could have a desk. Steve told Billy the bed had been his when he was a kid, and Billy had forced himself not to smile, but it made the bed feel special. There was a half bath in the basement, so he didn’t need to go upstairs to use the toilet and he could wash and shave his face in downstairs.Steve gave Billy his boombox, and some clothes, and had ‘loaned’ him money for shoes, though Billy knew Steve didn’t want to be paid back, Billy was determined to pay him back, but he didn’t say anything about it.

Billy was overwhelmed by Steve and by being back in Hawkins. It was hard, hard to talk to people, hard to look at all the strangers with their familiar faces. He heard rumors that he’d ran away and gotten into drugs, rumors that he’d been brain damaged into accident at the mall, rumors that he and heather had been kidnapped by Russian spies but only Billy had managed to escape.

At night, when Steve’s parents went to sleep, was when Billy was happiest, because Steve would sneak downstairs and crawl into Billy’s bed with him. Sometimes they fooled around, sometimes they talked until it was time for Steve to get up to go to work, other times Billy would just lean into Steve’s chest and sleep dreamlessly. Billy knew one day he’d sneak upstairs, but for the time being, he would lay in bed and just listen for the sound of Steve coming down the creaking basement steps. That first creak made his heart leap, every time.

Steve was working at Family Video again. Billy got a job at the local post office after taking a simple written test. Most of his days were spent sorting mail and helping old ladies purchase stamps. He liked the loading dock at the end of the day, the last rush to load the trucks, lifting baskets filled with mail and watching the letters and boxes get carried off to destinations near and far,made him feel things that he couldn’t quite name.

Billy’s first two weeks flew by, it didn’t feel real somedays, but he tried not to overthink it, tried not to focus on the moments when he felt like he was looking out a window at the rest of the world, or floating just under the surface of a frozen lake. The other postal workers were nice enough, they didn’t seem to mind he was quiet. He’d got into a routine right away. Show up dressed in his uniform, his cap on low. He kept his long sleeves down and buttoned at the wrist. Mary Reynolds, his supervisor, asked him why he didn’t want short sleeves,she told him that they could order him a couple, she told him he’d overheat come summer time. Billy managed to say, no thank you.She let the topic drop, and he was glad.

On Sundays Billy and Max would go for walks in the woods, it wasn’t intentional at first. He’d gone to visit her and been so restless and nervous that she’d asked him if he wanted to leave.

“No.” Billy had snapped out of frustration with himself.

“Okay.” Max looked around lost, and that’s when Steve had thankfully interjected.

“You know, it’s really nice out. Why don’t we go for a walk, just like, I don’t know in the woods.”

“What?” Max looked at Steve like he was crazy.

“Yes.” Billy stood up and put a ball cap on his head covering his short curls and pulled the hood of his sweater up over his cap. He didn’t like people looking at him, he didn’t like the feel of people’s eyes on him.

“Really?” Max stood up, it was her first time seeing Billy since finding out he was alive, and he was so thin, and so fragile looking. She was elated he was alive but also confused, he was a stranger to her, but when Billy grabbed her hand, not her wrist, and gently pulled her towards the door, she felt a spark of hope.

“I’ll wait here.” Steve said watching them, he nodded at Max encouragingly.

Billy had looked at Steve like he wanted to argue but instead he just reached over and snatched the Ray-bans off the top of Steve’s head.

“Back soon.” Billy said putting them on and leading Max outside into the cold damp April weather, it wasn’t quite spring, not the kind of spring weather Billy had known in California, but things felt like they were changing, becoming gentler.

They hadn’t said much on their first walk, but it had been a start, and then it became a Sunday ritual they did together, instead of church like most of the neighbors, they went for walks in the woods, just a couple hours, sometimes three miles, other times just down to a small stream. Billy never said he liked it, but he did, and he knew Max did too.

**Twitterpated**

**(June)**

A sudden June heat-wave had hit Hawkins and when Billy got home from the post office his shirt was pasted to his back, he didn’t mind the heat so much but was still eager to take a shower. Steve usually worked late on Fridays so he had time to get cleaned up before he got home. Billy hated navigating the house when Steve wasn’t there to keep Mr and Mrs Harrington distracted.

Billy looked up at the Harrington home mentally mapping out his path when he saw that the driveway only had Steve’s car in it, that meant Mr and Mrs Harrington were out. Billy exhaled the breath he’d been holding, feeling relieved and walked up around the side of the house. He had a key to cellar door, Mr Harrington wanted Billy to remember he was a tenant and front door keys were for family members only. Billy recognized that Mr Harrington was a snob and bully, but he was a pussycat compared to his father. Billy pulled out his key ring and spun it on his middle finger and that was when he heard the water of the pool slap against the tiles. Billy felt his heart jump, he didn’t like being startled, he didn’t like sounds that he couldn’t place right away. He walked towards the pool and saw that Steve was doing a lap, his dark hair looked black in the water, his speedos were black and white with a checker pattern, it reminded Billy of racing flags.

Billy dropped his satchel and sat down lotus at the edge of the pool, it had taken a while for him to get comfortable with the smell of chlorine, but it was getting easier everyday and having Steve in a speedo to distract him was great. Billy watched as Steve glided under the surface and touched the wall of the pool a few feet from whereBilly was seated before flipping and turning back, never breaking the surface of the water. Steve’s limbs were long, his legs were muscular but still lean. When Steve came up for air on the opposite end of the pool he and spotted Billy and waved.

“Hey!” Steve shouted happily, before disappearing under the surface and swimming towards Billy.

Steve popped up in front of Billy and folded his arms on the lip of the pool, he squinted up at Billy, little drops of sparkling water cascaded down Steve’s temples twinkling with sunlight.

“How was work?” Steve reached over and squeezed the toe of Billy’s boot, “Did you see mean Alice, I know she’s your favorite, wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up becoming the Harold to her Maude.”

Billy shook his head no, in response to Steve’s question.

“No Alice or work was a no?” Steve blinked, and rubbed his right eye.

Billy reached over and pressed his thumb along Steve’s right eyebrow ushering out a few drops of water before they could fall into Steve’s eye. He watched Steve close his eyes briefly absorbing the sensation and then opened them looking at Billy.

Billy felt his head spinning lightly and his heart do a somersault, it wasn’t the heat, it wasn’t the smell of the chlorine, it wasn’t because he only ate half his lunch, it was because he was looking Steve, and was in love with him.

“Bambi eyes.” Billy whispered, remembering the word that had made him laugh as a child, _twitterpated_.

“What?” AskedSteve as he rested his palms on the side of the pool and started hauling himself out of the water.

“I said, I love you.” Billy clasped this side of Steve’s neck and kissed him quickly and then pushed him back in the water. Steve grabbed Billy’s arm and nearly pulled him in, but Billy was getting stronger everyday, and maybe Steve could have dragged him in week ago, but Billy was just strong enough to pull Steve out of the water and into his arms, he laid back on the sun warmed concrete and Steve rested on top of him. Billy lifted his knees flanking Steve’s narrow hips.

Steve kissed Billy and smiled.

“I was afraid to say it.” Steve said a nervous smile playing on his lips, “but, I love you too.”

A drop cascaded out of the corner of Steve’s eye and landed on Billy’s cheek. Billy could feel the water that had been on Steve’s skin soaking into his work uniform, the hot ground beneath his back, he was still dizzy but it felt good, it didn’t feel dark or scary, it was like he was rising into the bright blue sky, free of fear and darkness, floating warm and safe.

Steve reached up and removed Billy’s sunglasses and tipped off his post-office baseball cap. Steve smiled and placed his hands on Billy’s cheeks looking at Billy’s eyes, unobscured by his shades, the bill of the baseball cap no longer an obstacle and kissed his lover.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it means so much to me, words cannot express.


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